Some Things I Need To Say About My Wife

I don't think everyone gets who they deserve in marriage. There are a lot of people that think that way. I am not one of them, because I am living proof that sometimes people get more, much more than they deserve. Conversely, Corie is proof that sometimes people get far less than they deserve.

When I met Corie she was the quietest girl in school. She was pretty and interesting to me, and in the insecurity of my youth my flirting was beneath her quality. Yet when I asked her out she said yes, and we enjoyed baseball games and fireworks together. Much more could be said of our courtship, but there was seven years of that so suffice to say we loved each other from a young age and knew that we enjoyed something special.

You'd think that after dating for seven years you'd know the person you were marrying pretty well. But there has been much that we've had to learn over the last nine years of marriage. She's learned that I'm forgetful, and have a strong tendency to want to serve the church. At times in my life that dedication to work has been a great frustration to her, and it is something that I continually try to keep in moderated check. I often put the needs of others and the church ahead of her needs. This is the real me that she has had to learn about while we've been married. My rewards are eternal, and not much anywhere else. Still she loves me and makes due with what we have providing a good home for our children, and a safe place for me to come and rest. In some churches there are traditional stereotypes of what the pastor's wife ought to do and be. Corie doesn't play the piano or sing that well, and I remember a time when she was concerned about how she would be received by churches that we served. I told her that I didn't need her to do any of that. I needed her to believe in me and nurture our children. She gets an A+ in fulfilling my expectations.

Corie has many traits that I have learned about over the years, as well. She is direct, sees the world in black and white, and sees only here and now. She helps keep me grounded. I prefer to always look to there and then. She keeps our home running smoothly. She is frugal to the point that when I'm able to give her money to spend on herself (not often) she always comes home with stuff for our kids or part of the money saved for future use for the family. Whenever she has a big spending day she feels the need to explain how each piece of clothing was a deal. I gave up caring a long time ago, if she bought, then it was worth buying; I know that.

Corie is always tired. She could look for a bed anytime of day or night. She's always been that way. But she is also tireless in the way she pursues things that are important to her, or the way she meets her obligations. Her perseverance and propensity to delayed gratification would do many a great good if they would simply learn to live like her. If Corie takes on an obligation, you can rest assured it will get done.

These are things that I need to say about my wife. Because she's so quiet many people don't know her like those closest to her. I was blessed the day she said "I will". I don't believe everyone gets who they deserve in marriage.

--Ben