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For many in our society
Jesus, apart from this statement, demonstrates a life and ministry of anything but conflict. He advocated reconciliation to God and each other, and outlined that peace through His summation of the law: love God, love yourself and love others. He expected those who entered His followership to participate in non-violent protest against evil-doers telling His disciples to turn other cheeks, carry loads an extra mile, and the like.
So why did he say,
Matthew 10:32 - 38 (NIV)a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.
Jesus is demonstrating his holiness here. He is stating the just side of His nature. If people deny Him, they’ll be denied; if they acknowledge Him, they’ll be acknowledged. There’s no argument then that people who don’t follow Jesus on earth will be unable to spend eternity with Him. This was not only His answer, but was the common understanding of the early church writers. Holiness brings division apart from conflict. God’s holiness divides Him from mankind, but He doesn’t hate, nor is He at conflict with mankind. But many of those separated from God by sin are at conflict with God.
Thus the second principle of what I believe Jesus is saying in this passage. Experience. I think that Jesus was expressing His experience. We learn from scripture that Jesus’ relationship with his family was strained because of His divinity (another example of division with one-sided conflict). His brothers thought He was crazy, and from what we can piece together there would have been quite a bit of division in that house. Imagine growing up with a sibling who repeatedly expressed that He had God as a father, much superior to your father. Imagine your sibling announcing that He was not from this world and that He was one with God the father. He never did anything wrong, Mom always looked at Him differently, and Dad treated him somehow differently. Yeah that would not only bring division between us as kids, but I would probably begin to resent Him, and it would probably turn sons against their fathers, daughters against mothers, son’s wives against their mother-in-law. Why? Because Jesus had been unjust? No, because He had been divided from them in holiness. I think that when Jesus quotes from the prophecy of Micah it is hitting home for Him.
Finally, I think that Jesus is expressing the effect of His coming not the purpose for His coming. Because of His coming this division came, not as the purpose of His coming. But Jesus returns to a common theme throughout his teachings and this really gets to the crux of the question posed to me. “As a parent how do you explain… “ I think that Jesus has explained it for what it is. If we love our children more than God (in Christ) we can’t follow Him. To elevate ourselves, children or anything else is idolatry. Love and worship are synonyms. To worship our children more than our Creator; to love anything more than the One who taught us what love is, is not following Jesus. Jesus frames it in the light of familial relationship and also our relationship to ourself. If we try to hold on to our life we lose it, if we lose it for Christ’s sake we find the best life.
So how does it play out in my life? Do I hate or despise my children? Am I at conflict with my family? No. I love my children. (In fact, I’m at a place where I get to love a child that hasn’t popped out yet.) But I love Jesus more than anything in my life. My wife knows that I am more committed to worshipping Jesus than her. My children will know that I’m more committed to Jesus than to them. Following Jesus is the most important thing in my life. I have laid down my life, dreams, and aspirations to Him. And what do I receive for that? A great relationship with a wife that loves Jesus more than me, and that’s the relationship with my children that I hope to have. I have greater dreams and aspirations, in short a better life because everything in live is despised compared to my commitment to Christ. Remember that pianos tuned to the same tuning fork are already in tune with each other. The closer I get to Christ, the closer I am to my wife who is getting closer to Him.
If you struggle to love Jesus more than your children, you’re not alone. Jesus regularly encountered people that had something that kept them from following him be it money, family, or personal ambition. But I can promise you this. Your children will never have a better father or mother than one who loves Jesus Christ foremost and follows His teachings. My advice would be to place Jesus as the most sought after pursuit of your life. Give everything to Him, even your children and dare I say control. Do we think we can love our children, want a great life for them, or provide for them more than God does?
Hope that helps, and sorry for the delay. As you can see it takes time to write this much.
--Ben
"Matthew 10 34-37 states Jesus did not come here to bring peace but with a sword. Please explain as a parent how you should love Jesus more then any other in life?"