Are you Square?

Wow, I had one of the greatest experiences of my life yesterday. Square Dancing! Awesome.

I remember growing up and hearing older people talk about when they would go to dances growing up, and it always seemed so much fun compared to the dances of today. There seemed to be a lot less pressure, and a lot more fun. That's what I experienced yesterday when Meghan Edwards made me square dance at the orientation in Long Island. Just hours before I flew out, I made my way to the gymnasium and was introduced to Posie, she was the caller.

She made us all get in a big circle and find a partner. It was so typical, all the guys were on one side and all the girls were on the other. I decided to be much more proactive than I would've been several years ago, but marriage probably has cut out a lot of the fear and wonder that the young'ins were facing. I walked around with my hand in the air until a very nice girl (I should remember her name but I'm drawing a blank, sorry) said she would dance with me. Girls on the right. Hold hands, circle left (oops the other left)

We did some drills as a large group then we broke into groups of 4 couples, and made a square, hence the name square dancing...who knew?

Girls in, girls out, men in, men out. Face your partner, Face your corner (which in a Luuuong Island accent is difficult to tell apart) Dos I do (sp?) swing your partner (gently, the girl probably only weighed 105). Then it was right heel step, right heel step, left heel step, right toe back, step, left heel step, right foot stomp twice, then pivot, pivot. and promenade. (Sweet I was like N'Sync.

All in all it was the best thing I've done in a long time. Really made me think about paying for dancing lessons, because that was fun.

If you're ever in the mood for something that's a blast, Square it up!

--There's somthing women love about a pick-up man, Ben

The Last Day

Well, today is the last day of the orientation. It has been a great experience, and for what it's worth I have dropped my room temp. to 75 degrees, that's the lowest it has ever been. I'll keep this short because the Internet usage is spotty.

I'll be speaking for the last time here this morning. I get so excited about it, because I really feel I was created to do this; that is preaching. To apply truth from the Bible to motivate life change in people, that is my passion.

I got a quick taste yesterday of something that I've been pondering for a couple weeks. I have been thinking of setting up a consultancy to coach people in public speaking. Probably scheduled to start in about 2012. But I think I helped someone yesterday, a business major at Boston Univ. He was lamenting his own problem with public presentation, so I gave him some tips that I think will really help him. Cool.

Well, I'll be flying into BWI around 6 and I'll be home sweet home. I love traveling, but it always reminds me how much I love coming home.

--Ben

Potomac Park Camp is a prayer and retreat center owned and operated by the Potomac District Council.

I head there for a number of reasons. I must say that cost is a major factor. Credential holders are given a clean room featuring king size bed and bathroom with all linens provided. And that is pretty much it. There are no frills, no TV, no radio, no internet, and most importantly no body. When rooms are available it means that there is no camp in session, so it is a quiet and docile place filled with small cottages of retired ministers and missionaries. It really makes a great place to unplug and focus on God. All of this for the incredibly low price of thirty dollars. (Up 50% since the last time I stayed there.)

I headed up on a Wednesday evening, and chose to do some things different. I wanted to maximize my focus so I cut out my regular distractions. I left my laptop at home, and even invited my wife to enjoy using it while I was gone. I turned my cell phone off. I loaded up the truck with just a few pieces of clothing and started the hour and a half trek towards West Virginia. I made the decision that my drive time would either be spent in silence or listening to hymns, and because the truck I drive does not lend itself to silence the hymns won out. But they began a refreshing spiritual atmosphere that I enjoyed on my trip.

When I arrived at camp I grabbed the key that was taped to the door of the office, showed myself to my room, and celebrated the official start to this personal retreat. My eyes were heavy from driving, and so I thought I would lie down just for a short while, then get up and get to work on this retreat. Then something happened that I do not think has ever happened to me before. I laid down for a short nap at 6:30 p.m. and awoke at 6:15 a.m. Dang it! I had slept for half of the twenty four hours that I was supposed to be retreating. And while this may seem like not that big a deal, it was hugely significant on my retreat. It made me remember the prophet that the Lord caused to sleep and Adam when the rib was removed. In both cases God was preparing something good while they were sleeping.

I decided to recalibrate my schedule. After all, I had lost several hours worth of spiritual work I had planned the night before. I decided to start with a walk around the grounds. I prayed, enjoyed the solitude, and fasted the blackberries that were growing wild in the bushes on the back of the campus. I found that during this prayer walk the seeds of my reflection for the remainder of the trip really got their start.

Let’s start with me…

This is how my prayer began. “Well, Lord I want to pray as I walk, so I guess I should start with me.” When I heard me say those words I could not help but feel foolish. But it was a good foolish, like when you make a discovery of the obvious, but at least no one was around to say, “duh!”. I apologized to God, and reframed the conversation. “Sorry Lord, let’s start with You.”

I think that is the way it goes sometimes. We get going on our merry way, and doing God’s work and suddenly we are all wrapped up in ourselves. I had to unwrap. I had to peel away selfishness, and instead humble myself as a means to try and really hear from Him. After moments of worship, of repeating attributes of God that I have seen first hand, I settled into prayer for an ongoing work of God in my life, in the life of my family, and ministry.

How far am I???

As I turned the corner on the back side of the camp, I realized that I was as far from my room now as I could go and still remain on the property. It caused me to think about how close or far I felt from God. I know that in a metaphysical sense we are always close. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I know that I am as close to Him as I want to be, but come on how far am I? See, I think that a retreat like peels away everything, down to the core elements of your spiritual being. It causes me to notice things that I do not notice in my routine of living and spiritual discipline. There are times I think that I am close to God, but I have not been watching Him as closely as I should. And I notice that I have wondered away like my three year old when she sees another family. Suddenly she has stopped to watch them as I head where we are supposed to be going. She is with me, but she is just not with me. And I think retreats like this allow us to get our bearings again of where God is so we can get a move on to catch up with Him.

This is what I do?!?

As my feet got back to pavement, and I was entering the final quarter of my walk, I had this thought: “This is great! I feel close to God. I wish I did this more often. I need to do this more often. This is what I do! What if someone found out that this is what I do?!?” I was somewhat arrested at this thought. Remember, at this point I have only enjoyed a walk having slept for twelve hours. Here in the middle of feeling great about a fulfilling time with God, I am confronted with my own insecurity of what other people might think.

How would people respond if they knew I was “wasting” my time this way; sleeping and taking walks. There are probably many people who would enjoy a chance to slip away from everything just to relax. But wait. This is not wasting time. Suddenly the insecurity subsided. This is what I do. I get caught up too often in the mentality of a hireling. I do not punch a clock. I am a man of God. Because I am a minister, people are looking to me to have heard from God. When the rubber meets the road in their life, and they speak with me, they want to know whether they are hearing the wisdom of God, or if they are getting the guesses of a man who has been working too many hours to have spent any meaningful time with Him. That is when I decided that this must become a regular habit for me. When I was packing up I told my daughter that I was, “Going to the mountain to pray.” I was realizing on this walk that the mountain does not move. It is up to me to go to the mountain. I know that metaphor may seem a stretch, so let me use one from the scripture. The scripture that I felt led to read upon returning from my walk was from the book of Exodus. Moses went to the Tent of Meeting. When he went there the cloud of God’s presence descended on the tent. All the people would stop what they were doing to watch, and when Moses came out of the Tent of Meeting his face would be radiant from being in the presence of God. And the people would know that he had been with God. That is what I want from the habit of retreat with God. I do not want the glory of having been with God as some way of puffing myself up in importance. I just want to offer God’s truth to people. And the only way is to be with Him, in the cloud of His presence.

Stick to the plan…

As the morning went on, I got myself dressed and ready for the day. I headed over to one of those cottages to talk with someone. Up to this point I had enjoyed the solitude of my event. Not talking to anyone, feeling the separation, and listening were great disciplines on this journey, but there was a voice I wanted to hear. Sister Betty Goggin was the wife of my first pastor. In fact, I called him “Poppy” an affectionate term that shows the closeness of our family’s relationship to this couple. After he passed away Sister Goggin was elected our pastor following his death. She is an old woman now. She has had many health problems lately, and described some of the pain she lives with constantly. But I know she spends her time with God. I wanted to hear what the Lord was speaking to her, to hear if the Lord would speak to me. And He did.

After exchanging information about each other and our families, news of this and that, I asked her what the Lord had been speaking to her. She said that He has been reminding her throughout the scripture that He has a plan. She might not know what it all is, she might not understand her part, but He has a plan. So until she understands it, she has to be a learner. Even at her age, she is still learning the plans of God.

She said, “He has a plan for you, Ben. You may not see how He is going to do it, but you need to know He has a plan.”

I felt like I used to at the end of old episodes of the A-Team. Hannibal, the colonel, would always figure a way out of their problem, and end each episode with the line, “I love it when a plan comes together.” I know just how Murdock and B.A. Baracus must have felt when Hannibal had a plan. God has a plan for me and I am living it. There is great confidence that wells up inside you when you hear the voice of the Holy Spirit speak to your soul. Things I have been going through as a pastor are for a purpose, and we are on the right track. Stick to the plan.

The rest of the retreat…

I enjoyed the rest of the day in different times of prayer, meditation, and reading. As I loaded up and headed home, I knew that this is a discipline that needs to be practiced in my life regularly. Its greatest benefit is that it disconnects me from the routine and rigors of the lifestyle I lead. It is refreshing and renewing to regain perspective of God, hear his voice, and recalibrate my life. My only change going forward is to be sure to start the retreat on the morning of day one, not the evening, that way I could stay longer.

--Ben

original date 6/26/08

5 Tips for Summer Counselors:

1. Get a clipboard. People always think you’re in charge when you carry one. Make sure there is paper on it.
2. Kids will go further, play harder, and smell worse than you ever thought possible. This is what makes camp the best for them. They need you to push them to it.
3. Camp Food will always be Camp Food. Consider Fasting.
4. Open your lens to a wide angle. Keep your sight on the big picture. Doing so will allow other counselors to have confidence that you’re ready for the next step, and keep kids assured that you have everything under control.
5. Ruin your summer for the greatest summer of your life. If you lay down your hang-ups, you’ll find your kids will too. Then let the fun begin!

Have a great summer Stony Brook!

--Ben

Apologies

I apologize. I know that some of you have been trying to access my website for the last couple days and have been directed to another site. The problem has been fixed. This week I purchased www.benjaminrainey.com and have applied that domain name as a mask over the longer and more combersome blogspot address. That address still works as well, so there won't be any change to how you get to the site. It just makes it easier for new folks to find me. Thanks for your understanding and for reading here at the blog.

--Ben

Frist Day of Orientation

This morning I'll be speaking on Making a Dent. Adolescent campers always have tough facades to hide their insecurities. But the key to breaking through is always to have the attitude of Christ that makes the dent.

So far, No A/C in the dorm, fans in the window, drove around last night, saw Ocean's Thirteen, called Marc, realized I didn't have my charger, phone dieing, great sandwich at local deli, good night sleep, miss my wife and daughter....having a great time.


--Ben

The Morning At Corky's

This morning, I'm at Corky's for two appointments, then I'll be heading out to the airport. I said goodbye to my wife and daughter, because they headed out to Ocean City, MD for a couple days respite with all the women of my family.

I was just realizing that it had been a while since I had been here. Good to be back.

--Ben

Headed Out

I'm headed out to Long Island today. I'm speaking at a Counselor orientation for a summer camp up there. My first time to the Island. Really hoping to challenge them to the attitude of Christ and a great summer.

--Ben

P.S. Megh, yes, I'm really coming.

Stoked about the Fall

I've been working this afternoon on the 40 day Compassion Journey for this fall. I can't express how much I get excited about it. Can you imagine Severn River Church having more people attend on Sunday than ever before, more people in host homes than ever before, serving our community with Christ's Compassion so that people are seeing our good works and glorifying our father in heaven, doing a service project so large that we can't do it ourselves, and hearing from our elected officials on what a blessing SRC is to the community. I can. In fact, that's the imagination I use when I pray for The Compassion Journey and here's why...Ephesians 3:20 - 21 (NIV) ²⁰Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, ²¹to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Imagine with me...

--Ben

A Bit Excited

You should know that my sister lives abroad. She has lived in France for the last three years, and works as a missionary. Her specific work involves care and spiritual direction for Muslims. And now after three years she'll be back in the states on furlough. While home she'll travel to hundreds of churches and share her vision for the ministry in order to raise the neccessary budget to alow the work to continue.

I'm very proud of her. I've listed a link on the site for her, but you can check out her blog here.

She arrives home tonight. Sydney has been running around saying Aunt Ariel for a couple days now, when we ask her who is coming in tonight.

Welcome home Ariel.

--Ben

Ashley Chandler

It was so nice to have Ashley Chandler, missionary to international students at Columbia and NYU. Ashley shared in our service yesterday. She gave us a great overview of why missions is so important. I'm very thankful for that. I hope that when the teaching is uploaded you'll check out the teaching on our website to hear her presentation. It should be there by Wednesday. You can hear all our teachings by visiting here.

--Ben

The New Office

Well, I alluded to it last week, but I thought I’d follow up with a description of my new office. I have moved out to the Patio Enclosure on the back of my house. The old office is now totally empty, and I’m completely out here.

It was a bit of a sad parting because I had to part with some very close friends and mentors in the move. I feel that though I can’t meet some of the greatest thinkers and pastors who could shape my ministry, their books offer their mentorship. And though it’s kinda weird I greet my new friends when they’re taken out of the Amazon.com box. I say something like, “Welcome my friend, I look forward to what you can offer me. I’ll do my best to learn from you. Make yourself comfortable. My home is your home now.” The book says nothing. Corie rolls her eyes.

But alas my volumes have been given free-run of my basement. It is far too dangerous for them out here in a non-temperature controlled environment. They may be strong mentors, but they are frail beings and have weak spines.

There are a few on my desk out here: The Bible (actually two copies), Courageous Leadership by: Bill Hybels, Devotional Classics, and Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless by Jeffery Gitomer.

My motorcycle collection is located on the top of my two drawer filing cabinet. It is rather empty because important documents have been moved to a locked area in my house for safe keeping. On my desk is the clock that was presented to me at the

conclusion of my ministry at Pasadena A/G. It reminds me to Redeem the Time. Printers are located atop a book shelf to my right. And those bookshelves are a little sloppy right now, because there are no books, but I also haven’t fully finished arranging the contents of my desk and so they’re sloppily strewn about there.

But all in all, I really like it out here. It is a glass house. It’s like I promoted myself to a corner office and am surrounded with windows. ( Note: I really like this. Maybe one day I could have an office that had windows all around and air-conditioning.) I can hear the birds chirping, the pitter patter of raindrops, and see all the tools that I own on the other end of the room. It’s very nice.

I hope that you’ll come by for a visit. Just give me a call before you come. 410.491.4314

--Ben

Setup Teams

We’ve been blessed as a church to have so many who have volunteered to help with setup and earlier this year we transitioned to having two teams that alternated to set up on Sunday mornings. However, those teams have been dissolved for the summer due to the amount of travel that SRCers do. So, we’re asking every member at SRC to come at 8:45 to help unload and set-up during the summer. At the conclusion of the summer we will be going back to a rotating schedule, but for now we are depending on you. Thanks for your help and support of your Church.

--Ben

Baptism Invitation

On July 1^st, next Sunday, we’ll be having our first ever baptism day. We have some great plans in store for everyone that day. The morning will begin with Severn River Church meeting at the Cade Building. In our morning gathering there will be singing and ministry time as well as a message with special video introductions of each baptism candidate.

After the morning gathering we’ll race you the Reinhardt’s. (Just kidding. We’ll meet there when you get there, but we’ll start the important stuff at 1:00.) We’ll be eating lunch together at the Baptism Party. Burgers and Dogs will be provided and our gracious hosts will provide crabs as well. After chowing down for a little while we’ll take a break and welcome everyone around the pool where we’ll invite the candidates in and baptize them. And while they’re making the greatest public expression of faith in Jesus Christ, you’ll be there to scream and holler for them in celebration of what Christ has done in their life. It’s gonna be great.

--Ben

This Weekend At Severn River Church

Summer arrived this week, and with it a I’m enjoying a new office. You may not know that with our new baby coming we needed to reclaim the room that I was using in order to provide space for both my little girls. So I moved out and am now in a little more mobile office. I have set up in my patio enclosure. More on that will be available on my blog later this week.

As the first Sunday of summer we have a great weekend planned. Sunday we have the privilege of hosting Ashley Chandler, missionary to NYC. Ashley will be working with an organization called World Team. Their mission in New York is to reach international students in American Universities. The philosophy is if you touch the campus you reach the world.

We are one of the very early stops for her among the many that it will take to raise the funds she needs for this opportunity. We can identify, because it was only a year ago that we were telling people about our vision and asking for their support. We look forward to hosting someone who is following God like we do.

--Ben

The quiet transformation

Another post about my daughter. She's 26 months old and over the last week I noticed that she stopped wearing a pull-up to bed. I asked my wife, and she confirmed that yes, Sydney is wearing Big girl Panties to bed. And staying dry. She has never wet the bed...probably tonight.

Ben

Pool days

It's great to be a kid. My daughter spent all day in her bathing suit, because she was in and out of the pool all day yesterday. She runs around saying "pool. Now. please."

I just got back from the pool, I love swimming with her. She is a little fish. She swims, jumps in, floats on her back...It's amazing and beautiful.

I love when she stands on the side and says "hold me" which really means "catch me". Then she counts, "Two, Three..." and I stop her and make her start at "One..." And she concentrates to remember to start at one. It's so precious. I love these days.

--Ben

Too Much to Unpack

I just got back from meeting with my coach Patrick Grach at The LifeHouse. We met at Bob Evans in Hagerstown and met for about 2.5 hours. It was really interesting because it didn't go like I expected. He asked me what was going on, then started stopping me and dealing with how I'm handling things that I didn't see as organizational things. At the end he explained that he was not interested in what I'm doing, rather who I am being. Coaching me will change the church, so he's focused on working on me.

He said so many incredible things that I'll be sorting through them over the next few days. I'm going to work through them in writing here on the old blog, and looking forward to internalizing them.

Here's a taste: Burning the Cart, Stewarding momentum, and "You Choose Who You Lose." Yup, it's gonna be huge, so check in over the next few days. You're going to get coaching that I have to pay a half a gas tank for, for free.

--Ben

BEN'S BOX

I finally found one I like. The search box covers only my blog and you can look for specific posts by inserting key words.

Ben

We Build Excitement

Janet made a great point in our last OT meeting. She said that as a Team we get excited about things coming up, but often there is a gap between our Monday meetings and the average person at SRC. We feel like we need to do a better job of letting you know what we're excited about. So we're working on that. I have said it before, but it needs to be repeated. This blog is the best way to stay informed about things at SRC. It is an amazing opportunity that wasn't available even a couple years ago, but now it offers direct access to me and to others in the comment section. I recommend checking in a couple times a week. Also, if you know someone who seems to be uninformed, direct them this way, so they can tune in.

WHAT AM I EXCITED ABOUT NOW?

1. Leading the list is The Compassion Journey. It is by far the biggest series that we've ever done, and more than a series it is a spiritual adventure that will put action to the faith that we have in Christ. It will cover a 40 day period this fall and be filled with focus on our role as Christians in meeting the needs of the world. Here are some highlights:

• 7 Messages on the "I Am" statements of Jesus, but I'll warn you, you've never heard it taught this way.
• 7 unique Weekend Services.
• 40 individual days of Bible reading, spiritual thoughts,and small group lessons published by Matt and Me.
• Expanded small groups.
• Serving our neighbors.
  
• And a service project so big that you won't believe it's possible, but it will be!

This is what we're excited about. I hope you'll join in the excitement too.

--Ben

New Small Group

Last night Corie and I met our new small group. We had a great time. We met at the Panera Bread in Glen Burnie, and just talked for a while catching up. One couple in our group is getting ready to move, another just bought a house in a different way than I've ever heard of. It was so nice to hear everyone share. It was our first meeting so mainly the questions centered around their small group experience from the past and what they enjoyed about small group. There seemed to be quite an agreement that this group likes to get together outside of small group just to have fun, so I look forward to doing that.

If you haven't found a small group, you really should. I can't imagine being on this journey, starting this church without the love and support of others in my small group. It is where genuine care and discipleship happens. Hope you'll get in on it.

--Ben

Lunch with my wife

Today I went to a lunch appointment with my wife Corie. She called me a few days ago and asked for a lunch appointment on my schedule for today. I asked her why she went about it that way, and she said that she noticed other people lining up those meetings with me and she was a little jealous when I get to go out to eat so this time she wanted to go out. We had a great time and she paid (with my credit card) . Oh Well. We ate at Bella Napoli in Pasadena. Great place, I love their Shrimp Caesar salad.

Ciao

--Ben

Finally posting

It may be hard to believe but I spent 45 minutes on my blog before 8:00 a.m. and am only now posting (4:30 p.m.). The reason is because of Ben's Box.

Ben's Box is a search box located on the right side of the page that enables readers to search for keywords among my posts. It is going to be a better way of retrieving old posts to re-read or share.

For those who care about this kind of stuff, it's what is now called a widget (in the blogosphere). Widgets do any number of things and are typically 3rd party add-ons for your website. This is a search widget. I have had a couple the last few days that I've been experimenting with. Unfortunately, I haven't been happy with them, nor am I really happy with this one, though it's the best I've found. The best is in the Navigation Bar at the top of the page, but I can't figure out how to move that down the page and customize the look of it, but I'm trying. I'll keep you informed of my progress.

--Ben

Focus Group

Please respond to your first impressions of this title for our Spiritual Emphasis Campaign for the Fall:

The Compassion Journey: from selfish living to selfless giving in 40 days.

I'm looking for good help here, so please tell me whatever you think of. Good, bad, ugly. I'd rather get your feedback now than here things after we've promoted it to our community.

Thanks friends,

--Ben

Paul Potts, The Journey

I have been tracking one contestant on a TV show called Britain's Got Talent. I saw a video clip of him and was instantly a fan. I thought you might want to see his journey too. Fantastic story.

First Round:



Second Round:



Final Round:



Winner Announcement:

Book Reviews

I added a new page to the site called Book Reviews. You can go there by clicking the button on the right called "Book Reviews" (hope that's not too hard) :)

Anyway, I just added the last book I finished, and am in process of recapturing all the posts I've done on book reviews to post there as well. I'll still be adding book reviews to this side and letting you know when the page is updated right here. I've been working to improve the site and am stilll open to suggestions. Thanks for reading.

--Ben

Human Capacity

I tend to be optimistic, to a fault some would say. However, I like to think of myself as an informed optimist. You see, I have it on good information that people have great potential. I believe in myself, not because I feel that I’m better than others, but because I believe that the efforts of man to glorify God and be what he created us to be is something worth believing in.

God created us for something; to glorify Him. Even if you’re not on the faith journey yet, God has designed you to bring glory to Him. That’s why we observe the uniqueness in each other. It’s why you comment to your friend, that they’re the best at whatever it is they do. Talents, gifts, strengths and abilities have been given to us to fulfill our part of the work of glorifying God.

I’ve met people who felt they had no gift, and in the past I’ve kinda fallen into the plug and play method of helping people determine their design, but what I’ve found is that people don’t match up against inventories in a close way, but they line up with their design like a hand in glove. Finding your design is one of the most important acts of worship you can achieve.

I was reading in Genesis today and had a reaffirmation of human capacity. “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

This is the story of the tower of Babel. Men start making bricks, mortar and building a tower that will make a name for themselves, because it reached the heavens. It was so impressive that Genesis says God came to look at it. His response? That they’re going to accomplish it. Humans have amazing capacity to actually accomplish anything they set their collective minds to. So God confused their languages so they couldn’t collaborate.

Now think of the last century. There has been such a dramatic acceleration in discovery and accomplishment: Flight, Space, Communications, Auto, Computer, Internet, and Medicine. I think these advancements are a result of a common language redeveloping. We could make arguments for the applied use of Mathematical language that enables scientists and engineers all over the world to understand a common language. Certainly there is a shared Binary language that powers computers like the one I’m using now, and the connection to the world wide web that allows people from around the world to collaborate with my thoughts.

It’s an interesting time that we’re living in. If our purposes are in glorifying God than the capacity of man has its greatest place. If we’re building towers to make names for ourselves, I wonder what would happen if we woke up one morning to blogs that read, “llksjfaoif lkj liwheurrwnnn n a hdd.”?

--Enb

Baptism

Once you've asked Jesus to be your forgiver and the leader of your life, the next step is to make that decision known through the act of BAPTISM.

When you began your relationship with Jesus, that was a PERSONAL DECISION, something between you and Him. When you're baptized, it's your opportunity to make it public, to celebrate with your friends and family what God is doing in your life!

Baptism can be described as "an outward expression of an inward change." Are you ready to tell others what Jesus has done for you? If so please fill out an application available at SRC and come to a baptism meeting THIS SUNDAY JUNE 17. The meeting will last only 10 minutes or so and will be held in the amphitheater following the morning gathering.


--Ben

Small Groups

Well the small groups are all starting this week, so if you haven't connected yet, make sure you sign up and speak to the small group leader this week. We want to help everyone get connected so please let us know if there's any way we can help.

--Ben

This weekend at Severn River Church

This weekend is an exciting one. It's Father's Day and in some strange irony Matt is speaking this week. He's really excited about it and I think has a great message lined up. He talked to me earlier this week about some things he has planned. It is sure to be a great weekend , so feel free to invite your father or fathers you know.

--Ben

New Speaking Opportunity

I just confirmed a flight to Long Island. I'm heading up there the last week of June for a speaking engagement. I've been asked to speak for a camp orientation for the Stony Brook School's Summer Camp. I'll be there June 27-29. I'm looking forward to it.

I was invited by an SRCer, Meghan Edwards. She is a manager for the camp, which means she'll unfortunately be away from SRC all summer, but will return in the fall. She has been working with this camp for many years and asked if I could help.

She said this morning on the phone that she was shocked that I accepted to easily, and wondered why. I told her that it was a combination of things. 1. I love to speak. I think it's something that God has gifted me to do and when I do it I feel that I'm worshipping at one of the highest levels I can. 2. I had the dates open. 3. It's on Long Island. (I've never been to Long Island, and one of my best friends lives on the Island, in the same area as this camp, so I'm hoping to connect with him.) Too many great things to pass up. I'm thankful for the opportunity.

--Ben

A few less Feesh in the sea

Well, we had a great day yesterday. (Unfortunately Jeff wasn't able to come, and there was a noted lull in conversation. Hope he goes next time.)

Some funny things happened, but in some cases what happens on the boat stays on the boat, and they'll have to tell there own stories. For my part the morning started a little rough. I couldn't sleep the night before because I was so afraid of missing the alarm. That happens to me every time there is an event like this. When we got to the marina to put the boat in, the waves on the bay were at 3 feet and the ride out to our special fishing spot was really a test of fortitude, thankfully I had eaten a little bit before getting on board, I think that I was just a small distance away from tossing my cookies. But I held my peace and once we got out there I was ok the rest of the day. The egg salad that Mrs. Pat sent really helped keep my belly happy too.

I didn't catch the first fish, nor did I catch the last, niether did I get the title of catching the most or the biggest (Ron did), but I did contribute to the haul by catching some of the bigger ones. I did notice that once I picked up the rod I used for the second half of the day I didn't catch any more. The Ugly Stick was what it was called, and it had green 40 pound test line, and I think the fish could see it and stayed away. Now, for what it's worth, I was quite content to hold this rod. If I hadn't someone else would had to, and they probably wouldn't have caught anything either, so in a way it was a little gift to my mates. And for what it's worth, my host reads the blog occasionally and I hope he knows that this is not a complaint, I had a great time.

Having a rod that doesn't catch fish allows you to observe the activity of the boat. For instance, all of Chris' antics. Chris was an ADD style jokester, never missing an opportunity to remind Ron of things he said that were funny, telling us of jokes he had pulled on other fishing trips, arguing with Ron over who was a better fisherman, asking Ron to bait his hooks (everybody baits their own was Chris' rule), and his constant pestering of Phil who was dozing all day while holding his rod (chris would jimmy with his rod so that he thought a fish was biting, then he would look at me and laugh).

And Phil seemed to have a great time. I told Chris a couple times to knock it off, on Phil's behalf. I think Phil needed a day of dozing, but in this case there was little rest for the weary.

We played the next fish caught would be the last one of the day, for over an hour, then when Ron caught the last one, we waited while Ron and Chris had a one on one, five minute tournament. Ron won.

A great time had by all I think. I know I did. Thanks to my host and crewmates.

--Ben

I ate the fish last night. (Egg, flower, cast iron skillet, oil, cajun seasoning) Fine fish. Made an especially good sandwich.

Gone Feeshin'

Well, today the hard work of the ministry calls me to the Chesapeake Bay for fishing (or as my host says, "Feeshin'") I love these trips because I get to be with some of my favorite peeps. Any time that I spend with my friend Phil is a good time, and my friend Jeff is always good for stimulation. Last time we spent all day on the boat and never caught anything, that was a great day.

Here's hoping. I'm making sure that the actual time of my post is showing below. I wanted to prove that we were up before the fish were.

--Ben

Last One....Done

Well, I just finished up my last day for AACPS. I had a kindergarten class today and it was enough to fulfill my obligation. So now my certification stays in tact.

I have a counseling meeting this afternoon, I feel so free to focus on SRC. Thanks for praying for me during these frustrating days.

The first book review is up on the new book review page, enjoy.

--Ben

The Latter Day Saint

While subbing the other day I wound up in a school that required me to arrive at 11:30, but I didn't have a class until 2:10. (glad I was early) I ended up in a teachers lounge reading a book with a another sub who didn't really look a day over 16.

She had long brown hair that was very strait, glasses, and a baby face (which I guess women are supposed to have, but her look was even less aged than any 24 year old woman). She had a degree from UMBC in education, but was looking for her niche in the field. And oh yeah, she was bound and determined to get her drivers license soon, because, "a girl my age..."

I didn't have anything better to do so I started a conversation with her. She was very nervous, averting her eyes and stuttering, but I actually got her talking. She spoke about her family in the Arnold area. She is one of eight children and her oldest brother is on mission right now for the church. Naturally this sparked my attention, so down that road we went. What church, how long is the mission, etc.

She is a Latter Day Saint (A.K.A Mormon) and their family is a devoted family to their faith. Her older brother is at BYU. I asked her all manner of questions regarding Mitt Romney and Mormonism. Why are they called Mormons and/or Latter Day Saints. Her perspective was that LDS was a more politically correct term. That there were a lot of misconceptions about Mormonism so the membership were asked to call themselves LDS.

We spoke for 20 minutes, and other teachers arrived. It was obvious that they knew her and didn't have much respect for her. They somewhat forced her to quiet down and she ended up leaving the lunch room. But for my part, it was a very interesting conversation with a Latter Day Saint.

Who have you talked to?

--Ben

A response to an Anonymous question

Anonymous said...

"Matthew 10 34-37 states Jesus did not come here to bring peace but with a sword. Please explain as a parent how you should love Jesus more then any other in life?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For many in our society Matthew 10:34-37 is a tough sword to swallow. We often don’t understand what Jesus meant when he said that he was bringing a sword, and turning family against each other. It’s why this passage has been listed among the hardest statements to understand that Jesus made.

Jesus, apart from this statement, demonstrates a life and ministry of anything but conflict. He advocated reconciliation to God and each other, and outlined that peace through His summation of the law: love God, love yourself and love others. He expected those who entered His followership to participate in non-violent protest against evil-doers telling His disciples to turn other cheeks, carry loads an extra mile, and the like.

So why did he say,

Matthew 10:32 - 38 (NIV)“Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven. “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn
“‘a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’
“Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.

Jesus is demonstrating his holiness here. He is stating the just side of His nature. If people deny Him, they’ll be denied; if they acknowledge Him, they’ll be acknowledged. There’s no argument then that people who don’t follow Jesus on earth will be unable to spend eternity with Him. This was not only His answer, but was the common understanding of the early church writers. Holiness brings division apart from conflict. God’s holiness divides Him from mankind, but He doesn’t hate, nor is He at conflict with mankind. But many of those separated from God by sin are at conflict with God.

Thus the second principle of what I believe Jesus is saying in this passage. Experience. I think that Jesus was expressing His experience. We learn from scripture that Jesus’ relationship with his family was strained because of His divinity (another example of division with one-sided conflict). His brothers thought He was crazy, and from what we can piece together there would have been quite a bit of division in that house. Imagine growing up with a sibling who repeatedly expressed that He had God as a father, much superior to your father. Imagine your sibling announcing that He was not from this world and that He was one with God the father. He never did anything wrong, Mom always looked at Him differently, and Dad treated him somehow differently. Yeah that would not only bring division between us as kids, but I would probably begin to resent Him, and it would probably turn sons against their fathers, daughters against mothers, son’s wives against their mother-in-law. Why? Because Jesus had been unjust? No, because He had been divided from them in holiness. I think that when Jesus quotes from the prophecy of Micah it is hitting home for Him.

Finally, I think that Jesus is expressing the effect of His coming not the purpose for His coming. Because of His coming this division came, not as the purpose of His coming. But Jesus returns to a common theme throughout his teachings and this really gets to the crux of the question posed to me. “As a parent how do you explain… “ I think that Jesus has explained it for what it is. If we love our children more than God (in Christ) we can’t follow Him. To elevate ourselves, children or anything else is idolatry. Love and worship are synonyms. To worship our children more than our Creator; to love anything more than the One who taught us what love is, is not following Jesus. Jesus frames it in the light of familial relationship and also our relationship to ourself. If we try to hold on to our life we lose it, if we lose it for Christ’s sake we find the best life.

So how does it play out in my life? Do I hate or despise my children? Am I at conflict with my family? No. I love my children. (In fact, I’m at a place where I get to love a child that hasn’t popped out yet.) But I love Jesus more than anything in my life. My wife knows that I am more committed to worshipping Jesus than her. My children will know that I’m more committed to Jesus than to them. Following Jesus is the most important thing in my life. I have laid down my life, dreams, and aspirations to Him. And what do I receive for that? A great relationship with a wife that loves Jesus more than me, and that’s the relationship with my children that I hope to have. I have greater dreams and aspirations, in short a better life because everything in live is despised compared to my commitment to Christ. Remember that pianos tuned to the same tuning fork are already in tune with each other. The closer I get to Christ, the closer I am to my wife who is getting closer to Him.

If you struggle to love Jesus more than your children, you’re not alone. Jesus regularly encountered people that had something that kept them from following him be it money, family, or personal ambition. But I can promise you this. Your children will never have a better father or mother than one who loves Jesus Christ foremost and follows His teachings. My advice would be to place Jesus as the most sought after pursuit of your life. Give everything to Him, even your children and dare I say control. Do we think we can love our children, want a great life for them, or provide for them more than God does?

Hope that helps, and sorry for the delay. As you can see it takes time to write this much.

--Ben

Update

After 5400 hits in about a year, it's time for some updating. I wanted to warn you because you may see things appear a little out of sorts from time to time. Just stick with the content. It should stay fairly steady.

Thanks and feel free to promote my site to others that you think would benefit from it. In the mean time, I wondered if there were genres, issues or plain old stuff that would benefit your read that you'd like me to focus on? (i.e. regular book reviews, regular attempts at wisdom related to certain issues?) I think I'd like to start adopting more of a column as a regular part of this site, but also leave room for everything else I update you on. What do you think?

--Ben

PS. There are 20-30 of you that check my blog on any given day. I treasure your participation in my life and ministry. I'm so thankful for this outlet. The best I have to offer is blogging for me. The advice I've asked for will do just that, advise me. But ultimately it'll depend if it fits my voice. You'll never know how important you are though to my site, and how valuable I consider your comments.

Frustrated

Have I told you that I'm substituting for Anne Arundel County Schools? It is so frustrating. There are a couple reasons why I'm doing it, and I guess I have to share them before I launch my complaint.

Firstly, church planting has a long history of starving pastors. That is, it's not uncommon for church planters to require second jobs in order to make enough money to support their family. Substituting offers the unique advantage of being a job that you work when you want and only if you want. Making it very attractive to someone who wants to keep his eyes on his real job while supplementing his income. I should say here that so far, the church has been able to pay me exactly what we originally budgeted, thus the first pain of frustration (I don't need the money).

Secondly, my wife works specifically for project purposes. That means that we don't live on the money she makes. When she gets direct deposit the money is immediately split. Part stays in the checking account to cover her tithe to the Lord and the difference is saved (right now toward a car). But for all of our expenses we rely on my income. There are a number of projects that we're looking at so she feels the pressure to work towards them. I wanted to substitute in order to show Corie that I'm interested in these projects/extras. If she works for them I could too occasionally.

But, I'm so frustrated by it. I hate subbing. That's the long and short, and for someone who believes you should do what you love, I'm really annoyed doing the work. As mentioned before I don't need the money (not that I won't use the money, but my needs are covered without it), I took the job to fit my schedule, but I've worked nine days (all half-days) in the last two months. Why? Because if I don't get ten days in, I lose my certification and if I ever want/need to work next year I'll have to pay $60 and go through all the training again. Uggh. Only four days of school left. I need one more day. For those counting, if I hadn't been sick last week I would have had ten, but had to call out ill. Frustrating.

The most frustrating part is that I feel like it really distracts from the church. I have been giving too much time to trying to get these dates in. I'm tired of it. It is distracting me from doing what I love, and that is planting this church. Friday is the end of the school year, so probably I won't face the frustration anymore, but I needed to vent. I try to keep it light on the blog, but thanks for the rant.

--Ben

This Sunday At Severn River Church

This week at Severn River Church we are pusuing a follow-up from last week's Doubt Day. Last week we really confronted key theories of faith, but this week we look for the practical application. We're looking at Jesus and what it means and looks like to follow Him. I think this look at Jesus and His followers will be invitational to those who who are ready to take the first step on their faith journey and inspirational to those who have been walking with Jesus for a while. I'm looking forward to seeing you at Severn River Church.

--Ben

Substituting

There is not enough money in the world to make teaching at a school worthwhile. I have been subbing for Anne Arundel County schools. I have to get in 10 days in school and over the last couple months I've been working towards that. I need two more days, I'm not sure if I'll make it with only one week to go. I've been working half-days and I really don't enjoy it. But it's a good contact place to meet people who influence our county. And so far I think I've done a good job of networking and connecting in the community.

But I'm looking forward to summer break.

--Ben

Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I got your comment related to Jesus and the sword. I look forward to answering it. But don't have time today. I will get to your question. Thanks for your patience.

--Ben

Atlanta Bread Company

I had a morning appointment today with Jessica. Jess has been part of SRC since April, and this morning I got to meet with her and get to know her a little bit better. She was delightful to meet with. Can I just say that I love what I do. I love getting to know people and share my life with them.

One of the best parts of the morning was when I asked her if there was anything that we as a church could do for her, to help her on her spiritual journey. She opened up about her faith journey, the ups and downs. She is coming up on her second spiritual birthday. For those who don't know what that means, it is a reference to Jesus' description of salvation in John 3. He said that we must be born of water and of the spirit. Basically that means born in flesh and then have a spiritual rebirth. So she experienced rebirth in July two years ago.

We're glad she's part of the family here at SRC.

--Ben

Feeling Much Better

Only 24 hours. Isn't it amazing that it is so precise? I was sick, now I'm not. Thank goodness. I made use of the Red Box yesterday and rented several movies to pass the time while trying to lay so still my stomach would constrict. The Good Shepherd, Casino Royale, The Pursuit of Happyness, and Stranger Than Fiction rolled me from 9:00 in the morning till about 10:00 at night.

Days like yesterday remind me why I love my Sleep Number bed. I had laid on the couch most of the day, and you know how your back starts to hurt after a while. When I went to bed, I felt perfectly comfortable and had none of those pains to deal with. I woke up refreshed and healthy. I don't get paid to promote it, but I think it's the best bed on the market.

--Ben

Farewell Uncle Joe

Some of you were aware that my uncle Joe was ill. He had cancer, and passed away this afternoon. I don't have any details yet, but wanted to ask for your prayers for my family; especially his wife Kate and Daughter Wendy, sisters Irma and Edna and brother Charles.

Thanks,
Ben

Watch Out

There's a 24 hour virus going around. And it has stopped at my house, actually in my stomach. Pray for me.

--Ben

The Music

On Saturday night, before Doubt Day, I laid my head down on my pillow, and in the darkness of my bedroom I confessed something to Corie, and I thought I'd confess it out here too. But before I do let me give you the context.

I had just printed out and played through several songs that we would play on Sunday morning prior to the discussion. (Shout out to Drew Harrah, (drums) and Chris Bell (guitar)) The songs included: Who'll Stop the Rain (CCR), Knocking on Heaven's Door (Bob Dylan), Free falling (who ever sings that), and Spirit in the Sky. None of them too edgy of course, but from this came my confession.

I told Corie that I was not comfortable playing those songs. She asked me why I was playing them and this was my explanation...

When Paul went to the Athens in Acts 17 he led a discussion, his own Doubt Day if you will. When he started, he did so by quoting popular philosophy of that day. "In him we live, and move, and have our being." In the 80's that was made into a praise song, interesting as it was a pagan philosophy related to the "unknown god". Paul started with this pop philosophy and then said, let me tell you who this is. Let me answer the question that your philosophy asks.

I chose the songs that I did because I believe pop philosophy is expressed in our contemporary Athens (Arnold, Annapolis, wherever you live) through music. Does anyone believe that Dylan was anywhere close to Heaven's door? No, but he was expressing a metaphor of depression and loss and was looking for a way out. Besides being three chords, is there significance to free falling? Well, considering it's about the quandary of love apart from Christ between good girls and bad boys, I would say that there is a common philosophy of escapism and fulfillment is only found in Christ. And that was the point, to engage the popular philosophies of human experience and then present a contrast and truth in the midst of that tension.

Why was I uncomfortable? It's because I know that we are prone to enjoy music, and that music is often a great tool for feeding us lies that are contrary to the gospel. I was hesitant because, well do you know that old adage "if you tell a lie long enough you begin to believe it?", that's the problem with music expressing popular philosophy. If we sing along long enough we embrace it as truth and the way life is, but life with Jesus is not that way. Toby Keith sings "raise a little hell, laugh till it hurts, put an extra five in the plate at church" That is a philosophy that many embrace; I can live a double life, one in which I can do things I know are wrong, and one in which I can redeem myself by doing something good for the church. This is just not in keeping with scripture. While it is a tool that starts with the unbeliever and can offer them truth (i.e. James 1:8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.) My concern was that Christians should not interpret the use of popular music for the philosophical debate as an acceptance of it as a steady diet of interpreting life. As followers of Jesus we should be looking to God's word as our rule of faith and practice, and all to often we meditate a lot more on philosophies that are counter to His word.


Music is amoral that is, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with any kind/style of music. It is it's manipulation (read lyrics) that causes things to be right and wrong with it. If you're looking for me to condone music, then my recommendation is this, enjoy music. Enjoy all kinds of music. But remember that what you are feeding your soul will produce fruit in keeping with its kind. If you're listening to too much popular music of whatever variety that is what you will mediate on. And if we're pursuing a lifestyle closer to that of Jesus we may need to change what we meditate on.

--Ben

Who'll Stop the Rain

I found it ironic that one of the songs that the band played before the DD program was "Who'll Stop the Rain" by Credence Clearwater Revival. At 8:00 in the morning the rain started coming down, and we made the decision to move inside. Can I just say something that everyone thought?

Why did God let it rain on Doubt Day? We had four weeks without rain and it rained on DD. There was a certain disappointment that came with the rain. I had told Matt while designing the promotion material that we needed to communicate the outdoor venue because it was part of the Ethos of the event. He reminded me of that first thing Sunday morning. But I also had this thought. That DD wasn't our thing, it was God's thing. We prayed and came away with a plan for DD. We believed God had a plan. And then it rained. It is ironic yet again that it is so easy for us, as Christians, to doubt. Why do we doubt that it was God's plan when it rains? Why aren't we trusting enough to say, "the rain is part of God's plan."? That's how I see it.

As I've reflected on this event one thing that I've wondered is if God limited the number of people that would be there, so that I would have closer contact with a few than be split among many. I think there is a maturation process that we're going through as a church...something about crawling but wanting to sprint. We'll keep trusting God for great things and know that in his timing we'll be ready for the marathon.

--Ben

One more thought...for now

Someone once said, "If you light yourself on fire, people will come to watch you burn." I'm not sure if I ever publicly admitted it, but that was one of the motivators for me going into Doubt Day.

Mmmm. The smell of gasoline...

--Ben

A Great Observation

Yesterday I had a moment of dream-come-true. I thought I would share it with you. After the gathering I met with some new folks and talked with them for about 25-30 minutes. When I was finished talking to them every bit of equipment was loaded up on the trailer.

For those who may not know, our church meets each week on a college campus and we have to bring in our entire setup weekly. We have a great church that pitches in to set-up and tear-down every week. I carry stuff weekly, tear-down tables, set up chairs, sound equipment, you name it. I try to work hard because I know that it takes a team effort to get it done, and I want to model that to everyone at SRC. I don't ask SRCers to do things that I'm not willing to do.

But from the beginning we acknowleged that I wouldn't always be available, that there would come a day when after our meetings I would be tied up with people, talking with them, praying with them etc. I remember when Joe Harp said, "Well yeah, that's what you're supposed to do."

Yesterday it happened. I got to be with people and share the love of Christ, while so many jumped in and got packed up, and then they drove away. Thanks to everyone. God is going to continue to give us great days like yesterday.

--Ben

Doubters from Afar

It's been cool today to get e-mail and phone calls from Doubt Day supporters that were attending other churches on Sunday. I just hung up from Pastor Bill Chamberlin who had been praying for us all evening on Saturday and all day on Sunday. He was so thrilled to hear the good report on how DD went. His response was pretty much summed up this way, "Hallelujah". (I agree)

Can't wait to get together as part of the county wide prayer meeting this Sunday night. We get together with Bill's church and a number of others for prayer from 6:00-7:30 in Annapolis.

It's so great that we're not alone in this. People from all over are supporting us in prayer.

--Ben

Doubt Day Recap

Wow, there's so much that I want to write, and so little time right now. I will highlight some thoughts, but I'll probably post multiple times related to specific facets of what happened yesterday.

For starters:

• Our official count was 40. That's a good turnout considering the rain. We know of several people who were confirmed to come that ended up not. These were people who we knew and they knew us. If we lost them, how many did we lose that we didn't know? Overall having less than fifty was not a letdown.
• So many SRCers helped to make yesterday happen. The only thing I had to do was show up ready to face the "firing squad" (audio should be available on our website soon.)
• We made some good friends yesterday. One guy, Kevin, asked some fantastic questions and in our conversation afterward he really seemed to be a thinker for someone so young. The greatest thing about him was his honesty. When I gave him a Bible to keep he told me honestly that he probably wouldn't read it. But he really encapsulated what yesterday was all about. It's about a church that gives people a place to express their doubts.
  
• The food was awesome. I got one of the doubt day cookies. You should've seen them, they were awesome.
• It did rain on us so we moved inside. That was an adventure, but Janet and Sarah really helped everyone put it together.
• There were so many people involved, that I hope saying thank you suffices.

It was a great day. I felt like it was a win. We didn't hit all three of our goals, but I think we hit 2 for 3 and that's better than any baseball hall-of-famer hitters so we did real well.

Thanks to everyone who has expressed interest in knowing how it went. Thanks more to those who prayed for us.

And if you're reading for the first time, thank you for looking into my blog. Remember, if you have further questions you can submit them through the comment section. Just post anonymously.

Thanks,
Ben

The Rest of the Story

Since I left the blogosphere yesterday, I had several adventures I thought I should fill you in on.

1. I ended up in the hotel lobby for 2 hours waiting for a guy who said he'd be there in 45 minutes, but hey, he had the trailer so I was ok with that. I was thinking of you though so I snapped some pictures of the Spammobile. Thought it would make you hungry. MMMM. Spam.






2. We trailered the beast over to the only mechanic in the area that would fabricate a new cable for me. (Cables as old as mine are special order) On the way I found out that the guy pulling the trailer had never done it before. (that instilled confidence) Then we went from one end of the road to the other trying to find the mechanic's farm. Yup. You read that correctly, he has a shop on his horse farm. It was very difficult to find, we passed it three times.

3. Justin, the trailer king, said that he felt bad just dropping me off. But seemed to have no problem backing the trailer up and leaving. The Mechanic said, "I'll fix it, but you can't stand over my shoulder." So I took a seat on the porch and studied for Doubt Day. An hour later now 3:00 p.m. I paid the man $60 and was on the road again. Man the clutch handle feels tight...More on that later...

4. I went to visit my uncle Joe. Many of you know that he is sick and you've been praying for him since the request went up on the Prayer Page. When I arrived he was lying on the floor with a Nephew from the Boyer side, my great aunt Irma was there, and the condo seemed to fill up as others kept coming in. He was very sickly, and hurting. He has esophageal cancer and is living his last days at home. The Hospice nurse came and he was very nice. I'll tell you that as a minister I've dealt with Hospice workers before. It takes a special person to do their work. He was so gentle and so full of mercy it was a blessing to watch. He went through all the instructions for medication. Did a mini seminar for all of the family that was there about caring for the dieing and trying to easy any discomfort. Joe's daughter Wendy mentioned that she saw a child on TV that had a pen that said, "Cancer Sucks". The Nurse replied that it was our biggest enemy, and the room dissolved in tears because within the past two months the same family lost their other daughter (57) to cancer. Tissues went everywhere as the family wept. Those are the moments I thank God for Hospice. He continued to care for Joe. The tears were no doubt sorrow, but they were also stress. The stress of seeing a loved on dieing, knowing that there's nothing you can do but try to love them and care for them to the end. The Hospice workers help alleviate some of the stress. As you can imagine, I was thankful to have gone, but it was not a happy visit. They've given him about 3 months, but I doubt it.

Back on the Motorcycle, It's 5:00 now and the country roads of Fredrick County make me wish that I had days to make the journey back to Baltimore, but I-70 has a way of coaxing me back home in about an hour. Traffic on 100, and man is my left hand starting to hurt from clutching to shift, up and down as traffic starts to move then comes to a stop. I realized down the road that there was no accident, no reason to stop and go, just idiots who can't drive. And my left forearm feels the burn.

Off of rt. 100 finally, sweeping through the exit onto Ritchie Northbound, and a right onto Mountain Road at the Double T Diner. Mmm, food, I haven't eaten since 8:00 when I had a bowl of fruit at Bob Evans. But wait, something feels weird and as I coast to a light on Mt. Road just passed the home depot, my clutch cable breaks again, in the same place, and I'm in the left lane only 1 mile from home. I get off the bike and look at the line of traffic behind me as the light ahead of me turns green. Luckily there was no traffic in the middle of exit lane for Rt 100 so I pushed my bike over to the shoulder. Again I thought of you. (Special Shout Out to Kevin Moore who recognized me and my bike and stopped to make sure I was ok. And to Dave Stevens my father-in-law for helping me, and to Joe Harp who let me borrow his truck and trailer to get my bike back to my house.)




As you can imagine it was not the day that I had planned, but I was home safe, had a tomato sandwich, and headed to bed, dead tired, but very much alive.

--Ben