I Forget How Much I Like To Write

Haven't had much time to write over the last year. Seems like quite a change of pace to the previous 5 years, and if any part of that is cogent it's change.

I told someone today that I have probably lost my voice -- that is I don't think I have much to say these days. I wouldn't waste anyone's time.

Mostly, I just don't have the time to think, and have far less meaningful conversations in which to fertilize thoughts. This season leaves me quiet, and pressing to get through it.

Further, I write out of the flow of what I am taking in. Vocational ministry allows me the opportunity to read and listen to others, and this site has been a place where I can share my thoughts and perspectives. Recently the flow of learning has been primarily in the area of accounting and tax preparation which, believe me, would not make edifying blog posts. :-)

So for now I'll probably just be quiet for a while. At some point the page will turn and this chapter will be over. Here's looking forward to the next adventure that lies ahead.

--Ben

Worship Leadership (Part 2)

For an introduction to this series of posts CLICK HERE.


Here is the second guideline for worship leadership: Worship leading is leading others to worship.

This is the leadership aspect of worship leadership. If you are not leading people somewhere then you are not leading. Leadership has everything to do with movement from one place to another. As a worship leader I am entrusted to lead people from the place they are spiritually when they come into the worship experience to a place of renewal and refreshment, a place of safety in the presence of God where He can write His word on the tablets of our heart. We cannot perform our way to this leadership. Leadership is a reaction of trust. When people trust their leader they are willing to follow.

Too often we can lose site of our leadership of others. We can become so connected in our worship, that we ignore the leadership of others in their worship. As a worship leader I'm responsible not just for demonstration but for instruction. The members of your worship team both band members and singers are demonstrators and instructors, and at times (regularly) they'll need to be reminded. That as people sing along, they should be able to watch us to lead them to worship. For instance, if we want people to raise their hands in worship we take the first step by raising our hands. If we want people to clap then we clap. (*Note: for worship leaders that lead from an instrument -- you have to rehearse these demonstrations with your singers.)

One more note here: Building trust with the congregation doesn't just happen through your competence on the platform. It also is built on your character (previously addressed) and your relationship with the congregation off stage. If you are not connecting in the halls of the church, or the homes of congregation, then you stand a slim chance of connecting on the platform. And without that trust, you won't be leading. You'll just be singing.

--Ben

Worship Leadership (Part 1)

A lot has changed in churches over the last half century especially in the area of music, probably more than has been given credit. Even amid the worship wars of local churches there has likely never been a time of greater contribution and access to the artistic expression of worship music. I'm not saying it's the finest quality in history, but by volume and access unparalelled. This change has led us from "song services" and "song leaders" to "worship experiences" and "worship leaders". There is, of course, great debate over that and what those terms mean, but in my experience over the last 15 years a few guidelines of worship leadership have emerged that I wanted to share.

My own journey into worship leading was as a freshman at Valley Forge Christian College. I wanted to tour with a ministry team from the school, and was a fairly good singer. I auditioned for the role of backup singer. I have always had a preference for harmony lines, and preferred to offer my voice to back up the front man. I made the team and was informed that I would be the leader. I knew very little at that time and had the instruction of a gifted musician in N.J. I dealt with the insecurity of not having the kind of "cool" voice that many worship leaders of the 90's had. But genuinely I wanted to worship well, and help others express to God the honor and glory He deserves.

Here is the first guideline for worship leadership: Worship leading starts in the heart of the worship leader.

Unlike music performance worship leading is not about drawing attention to yourself and your gift, and is all about drawing attention to God and offering your gifts to Him. It starts from a heart of selflessness that seeks to honor Him.

I have not always understood this, and have not always practiced it. Sometimes the temptation of having fun or showing off trumps the true act of worship. However, while you may end up with a good show, you will not have truly led the people to worship.

I do not believe our spirit gets tuned up in a short prayer held during rehearsal or a last minute hand hold before the service. Prayer is important, but the heart of the worshipper should be seeking purity and holiness off stage if one wants to worship that way onstage.

Worship leading starts in the heart of the worship leader.

--Ben

Things I'm Learning In Transition: (Part 6 of 6)

6. Hard work is worth it. For some reason in life it seems the better, more valuable things are always things that require extra work, pain, and patience. In transition hard work brings stability. In my case it turned a two week temp job into full-time, permanent employment. Three months ago my boss was looking for other employers for me. Yesterday she told me about a job but said that she wouldn't let them have me, didn't want to lose me. And then there's the effect on your coworkers that see you as a resource of help and teamwork because they know you work hard. Finally there is a very personal satisfaction in knowing that you're doing your best. It is an investment in yourself that honors the Lord. We were designed to work, so work hard.

--Ben

Things I'm Learning In Transition: (Part 5 of 6)

5. The path to sin is easy to find. I am confronted daily with opportunities to sin. Not big sins, just little ones. Each day what I will think about, how I will speak to others, what I will imagine doing or saying. These little sins lead to bigger ones. I know how the process works, but sometimes that just becomes academic. I have to remind myself that it's more. I have to remain vigilant to look not only for the grace that forgives me when I fall, but for the grace that keeps me from falling. I've known people that have gone from the protected life within the boundaries of Christian community and have turned to a completely different life of great sin. I've wondered if they had to be given lessons on how to sin so greatly. But I know the answer, simply they wandered into little sins and when sufficiently practiced, they became experienced in greater sin, until ultimately they are expert sinners. I suppose we're all expert at sin at some level, but I want to be an expert at crucifying myself daily so I'm not held in the grip of sin, rather in the grip of grace. When people stop calling you pastor, and the public stops paying attention to your choices and life it is very tempting to believe that he stakes have been lowered. In fact, the stakes have never changed the penalty for sin is death, but God's gift is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

--Ben

Things I'm Learning In Transition: (Part 4 of 6)

4. Pastoring is a spiritual gift not a career or paid position. Now, I already knew this, but haven't experienced it in over a decade because I was working as a pastor. But when I get to use my pastoring gift then and now it is really very rewarding. It is a joy to know that the Holy Spirit is working through me when I offer counsel, care, or leadership. It's nice to preach, I love it actually, but I find it more difficult when I'm preaching to a congregation that I don't know. I prefer to know the people, and what they're facing in their lives. While a number of people have stopped calling me "Pastor Ben" preferring just "Ben" I was never a pastor for a paycheck, always because that's the gift God imparted to me in my calling. One day people will call me pastor again, I look forward to that. But it will always be done in the gifting He has given me. He called me pastor first.

--Ben

Things I'm Learning In Transition: (Part 3 of 6)

3. Tighten the boundaries and lean into routine. During this transistion there have been so many things that are outside of my control it can become quite a whir. Pulling in the boundaries really helps keep your sanity and provides stability. Creating a new routine can be a crutch to help you through the period of adjustment. Over the years my family has spent a lot of time together, I've rarely felt that I was absent. That came from some boundary moves about six years ago in my life. But with extended family so close we spend a lot of time with them as well. Over the last couple months we have really dialed into protecting a couple nights( T/Th) a week as family nights at home. Suddenly we have time to take care of a lot of little things that could always just kind of slide. These little things left undone are stressors that we were carrying. The routine's not perfect, and will need to be tweaked and rearranged from time to time, but when things are moving in new directions all around me I find it a helpful friend to lean on.

--Ben

Things I'm Learning From Transition: (Part 2 of 6)

2. No one can rest for me. It seems funny, but when I started this job I went to bed by 8:30 every night exhausted. I was learning a new commute, databases, office systems, people, etc. and that is very taxing. Over the last couple months I've adjusted to a much more normal sleep schedule. Rest keeps me sharp at work, and keeps me from being "too sharp" at home. Stress overwhelms my desire to show love to my family if I'm not rested. Instead I become focused only on myself and that leads to anger and selfish behavior.

--Ben

Things I'm Learning In Transition: (Part 1 of 6)

1. Spiritual growth is a daily choice, and the only one able to make it is me. I choose to make the scripture and prayer first priority in my life. I have formed new habits. One of them is incorporating listening to scripture. It keeps me thinking about God's interest in me; not deserved, but greatly appreciated.

--Ben

Archive Repost: Thirty Warriors...Deepest Treachery

I’ve been reading 2 Samuel over the last several days. I got to an interesting passage I had never reflected on before. In 2 Samuel 23 a list is given of David’s “Thirty Warriors”. There are two distinctions among the 600 men that were David’s Band of Brothers; the “Three Warriors” and the “Thirty Warriors”. Both groups were highly esteemed and famous throughout Israel.

Each that is listed, is as an act of honor and Respect for their part in serving David. (He was referred to by his men as the “Light of Israel”. They fought so that his flame would not go out.)

Near the end of the Hall of Fame, is the name of a guy that I didn’t expect to see. Uriah the Hittite. Uriah was one of the top fighters in the nation, one of David’s, “Thirty Warriors”. He was a man among men, a hero to the boys of Jerusalem, close friend and defender of David, and (oh, by the way) husband of Bathsheba.

Bathsheba, you may recall, was the woman that King David saw bathing herself. He lusted after her and had her brought to the palace so that he could commit adultery with her, while Uriah the Hittite was out fighting for the “light of Israel”. David’s sin was on the verge of becoming public because she became pregnant, so David had Uriah killed. David told his commander Joab to put Uriah in the front, where the fighting was worst., then to withdraw from him so that he would be killed. It happened just that way.

A couple random observations:
1. David cheated with one of his best supporter’s wives. Probably the reason that they lived so close to the palace was because of Uriah’s high position in the Army.
2. David set up one of his most devout fighters.
3. David killed him in a way the Uriah was not expecting. It was no surprise to him that he would lead the battle in the fiercest area of the battlefield. He was one of the “Thirty Warriors”.
4. This story has always seemed treacherous to me, but seeing that it was against Uriah the Hittite, worthy of being recorded by name in scripture, one of the greatest warriors in the army, and the kicker…He had his life taken by a friend he would have willingly given his life for. –Ouch

Jesus willingly offered his life for me. Do I deal with Him treacherously?

--Ben

This Memorial Day...

Is Harold Camping Causing More Harm Than Good?

I was asked today if I thought the Harold Camping publicity was doing more harm than good. I guess in response I'd have to ask, "Harm to what?"

Harm to Christ? No. This certainly does nothing to affect his character.

Harm to the Church? Well, if the goal is to be considered "Normal" by the standards of people that don't walk in The Way. Maybe.

But primarily these were the thoughts I've had:

Men will always hate us because of Him. I think situations like this gives haters ammunition, but it's not hurting the cause of Christ. I don't know if you've been around your friends that don't follow Christ, but at my office's lunch table we got to talk about quite a bit of stuff related to Christ. There were a lot of jokes, but I came away from it with three thoughts:

1. People that I know aren't going to see Christ in Harold Camping. They're going to see Him in me. Am I living in a way that allows Jesus to draw men unto Himself?

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2. Faith really is a mystery. The hype around Camping's prediction really does make the return of Christ sound ridiculous. Do we believe He is coming again? Do we live like it? Can we hold onto our belief even when others ridicule it?

3. I re-read Matthew 24:42 "Therefore keep watch because you do not know on what day your Lord will come." Do followers of Christ really know what the Bible says about His return? There are a multitude of beliefs by Christ-followers have that are as off-base as Harold Camping's, but they have far less publicity. The real problem is they just don't know the Word well enough.

--Ben
Oh how I wish He would come. I look forward to His coming. Even so, the Spirit and the Bride say, "Come".

Not a lot of time to write

Between my work schedule and soccer practices and job hunting I just don't have much time to write. I think of things regularly that I'd like to post, but just can't get time to write them down.

So here's an update:

• I'm working for an accounting firm in Annapolis as an office manager. It started as a ten day temp hire, then became a 4 week hire, then one more week, and now is something of an indefinite long-term, but temporary situation. All I know is I work hard and try to learn anything I can. I regularly impress them, and that seems to be what has bought me more time. I'm very grateful for the work.
• I'm coaching Sydney's soccer team on Monday and Wednesday's after work. Games are on Sundays and right now we're 1-0.
• I am applying for pastorates and Christian ministry all over the place and in all kinds of churches, though my interviews have proven that I don't speak the languages of some other denominations. I'm just looking for the open door.
• My son has started crawling and can cruise from the living room table to the couch and down the hall leaning against the wall.
• Sydney just turned six and it is ridiculous how fast time has gone.
• I'm preaching three times over the next month: This Sunday at Pasadena A/G, May 8 at Eastern A/G, and May 29 at Cedarville A/G in Brandywine, MD.

That's the news.

--Ben

Chinese Christians held at Easter service: church

Chinese Christians held at Easter service: church

(AFP) – 19 hours ago

BEIJING — Up to 30 members of a Chinese evangelical church were arrested on Sunday for trying to hold an Easter service in defiance of the officially atheist government, a member of the clergy said.

A large number of police began to gather early Sunday in the Zhongguancun area of Beijing where the Shouwang Church had said it would hold an outdoor service to mark the holiest day of the Christian calendar.

"Between 20 and 30 followers were taken away by police," senior pastor Jin Tianming told AFP by telephone from his home, where he is under house arrest. He said there were several police officers posted outside the building.

He added that the members of the congregation who were arrested had been taken to different police stations and that none had so far been released...Full Story

Prayer Request

If you're so inclined, please pray for Naomi. She is 2 years old and has brain cancer. Found out about her today from a coworker. --Ben

Jesus's Upside Down Kingdom

For the last week and a half I have been meditating on the Sermon On The Mount; a chapter a day. Today I read only Matthew 5:1-12:

1 And seeing the multitudes, he went up into the mountain: and when he had sat down, his disciples came unto him:2 and he opened his mouth and taught them, saying,

3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

6 Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called sons of God.

10 Blessed are they that have been persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.11 Blessed are ye when men shall reproach you, and persecute you, and say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets that were before you.

Last year my father shared that as a new follower of Jesus he was questioned by an atheist related to Jesus's teaching. "Do you really believe the meek inherit the earth?" The meek don't inherit the earth. They get trampled by the galloping, brash hoard of those seeking power. Right!?! Not in Jesus' Kingdom. In fact, all of those that are "blessed" are people in circumstances everyone wanting to rise up to "success" avoids. We don't want to mourn or be poor in spirit. But the revelation of the Kingdom according to Jesus is among just such a people. Though it is counter-intuitive to the way we're taught to think, don't we find it true that when we have nothing to cheer for heaven seems closer and easier to talk to? When we mourn He's close to comfort us? When we're tired of the diet of unrighteousness He is there to fill our hunger and thirst for righteousness? This is where Jesus's Kingdom is. And when we're there, we're blessed. --Ben

Hands Free Driving

I don’t know if I’ve shared this before, but I hate phone calls. I like talking with people, but hate the idea of calling them. Coincidentally my job right now as an office manager requires a lot of phone calls. But it also requires a half-hour commute. So now each day I use my Bluetooth to call a different family member and talk for ten minutes or so just to catch up. And I enjoy it.

I’ve never been the kind of son that called mom to check in, or the kind of brother to call and check on my sisters. But thanks to my commute I am now in touch. Awww. I’ll probably only last this way until I no longer have a commute, but I’ll enjoy it while I can.

--Ben

Easy As A B C

I’m currently reading a book called Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. In one section of the book he talks about the power of stickiness and explains a lot about the background of Sesame Street. One reference that he makes is to the alphabet reading by James Earl Jones. You’ve probably seen and heard it over the years. Jones recorded the alphabet by saying a letter then pausing before saying the next. Of course it thundered in his big voice. Originally it was recorded this way so that in the pauses the creators on Sesame Street could insert activity to reinforce the letter. But what they found was that playing it with simply a picture of the letter caused children to start saying the name of the letter and associating it with the letter on the screen. When it was played multiple times children would begin anticipating the next letter, and effectively learn the alphabet from repetition and anticipation.

This has caused me to consider how scripture memory could be done in the corporate worship setting. The catholic church has obviously used the same type of systematic repetition to educate their parishioners. (i.e. Hail Mary, full of grace, etc.) And recently I’ve become aware of Joel Osteen leading his congregation in a recitation about their Bible. (i.e. This is my Bible, etc.) I’ve just been thinking about the opportunity that we have to memorize scripture together that in the tradition of doing church the way I’ve experienced it has been lacking.

I will, in the future, be leading a time of scripture memory with my congregation whenever I’m blessed with the opportunity to lead one. Scripture memory is putting the raw materials into our mind so that the Holy Spirit can use it to make some new for the Kingdom. I think it should have an effect not just in the individual, but in the congregation as well.

Now, if I could just line up some studio time with James Earl Jones to record some passages…

--Ben

God That Provides

Last week I attended National Community Church with a group of Valley Forge Students. The sermon was on the final test of Abraham, when God asked for Isaac to be offered as a sacrifice. Just before Abraham killed his son God stopped him and showed him a ram caught in the thicket to be sacrificed instead. And in that story God revealed something about himself. Abraham called God by a new name Jehovah Jireh – God that provides.

Over the last couple months of unemployment God has provided for me. And in some cases it has been from the unlikeliest of sources. I have received cards in the mail that contain gift cards for groceries, and received handshakes that contain cash. Last weekend someone dropped off a card anonymously expressing gratitude and encouragement for following God’s call on my life, and inside was money.

We’ve tried to be good stewards. We’ve cut our costs, and tried to be wise with how we handle our money. We practiced the principles that I’ve taught in financial series. Those habits of saving have now come around to help us, but in the end God is providing for us. I want to thank those of you that have been part of His provision as you’ve given to help meet our needs.

In my devotions recently I’ve been meditating on The Sermon On The Mount. Jesus says that in His Kingdom there is no reason to worry. Birds don’t worry about lodging. Lilies don’t worrying about clothing. Jesus’ people don’t need to worry about anything. He is Jehovah Jireh – God that provides.

--Ben

Psalm 119:99

Last week I had the pleasure of meeting with the Rev. Dr. Barry Black, U.S. Senate Chaplain. In reflection of God’s word he shared that as a boy his mother would give him a nickel for every verse of scripture that he memorized. So he and his brother searched the Bible for every short verse they could find. But when they ran out of short ones they continued to memorize. A verse that stood out to him was from Psalm 119:99. The Psalmist says that he is smarter than his teachers because he as meditated on God’s words (Thy testimonies, KJV).

Daniel and his friends in exile in Babylon mediated and lived by the word of God. They were found to be ten times better than all the Babylonian classmates.

He recounted several times when he used the lens of God’s word to influence the policy of our nation and military at times when he was not a ranking officer or voting member of the Senate. This discussion just affirmed to me the value of memorizing God’s word.
--Ben

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

Needless to say this season is a different kind of time for my family as we flex under financial and vocational transitions. I noticed yesterday that God has given us a very precious gift in His providential timing. Ellie has started pre-school and attends five days a week as a perk of my wife’s employment at the school. Her class is memorizing Psalm 100. The teacher asked us to go over it at home periodically to help the children memorize it, so we adopted the passage as a family memory verse and repeat it together multiple times a day. Even in my own free time I find myself rehearsing it in my mind. Here’s what is says: (I’ll type it from memory so you can check my progress.)

Psalm 100 (KJV)
“Make a joyful noise unto the Lord; all ye lands.
Serve the Lord with gladness, come before His presence with singing.
Know ye that the Lord, He is God. It is He that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise. Be thankful unto Him and bless His name.
For the Lord is good, His mercy is everlasting, and his truth endureth to all generations.”

Can I just say that there are a lot of issues that could seem really big right now, but instead I’m focused on the biggest thing that matters; my relationship with God. Do you know why? It is because He has given me this truth.

We can not have a better plan for our lives than God’s. Why? Because it is He that hath made us and not we ourselves.

We are not alone. Why? Because we are His people and the sheep of His pasture.

God deserves my honor and attention, to be extolled and exalted, and to receive thanksgiving and praise. Why? Because the Lord is good. His mercy is everlasting. And His truth endureth to all generations.

Mmmm…Sometimes I just wanna PREACH.

--Ben

PS. The best part of memorizing is seeing the look on Ellie’s face when he has caught me messing up. She knows it the best out of all of us. I’m very proud of her. When you see her ask her to tell you Psalm 100.

My Schedule

I have had the weirdest schedule this week. I started a new job as a temp for an accounting firm in Annapolis, and have had to adjust to a morning commute. For the last four years, almost every day, my trip to the office was about thirteen steps down to my basement. Now I’m sitting on Ritchie Hwy in the morning’s wishing people knew how to drive in the rain. But I digress.

These first couple days have been like building a plane in the air. The feeling of imbalance because you don’t know where things are in the office and what the procedures and systems are is enough to really exhaust you. Each day has gotten a little better as I’ve learned, and I have received compliments from people in the office for how I’m picking up on things. (appreciated)

Because I’m less available in the mornings to help Corie with the kids before school we have really focused on getting them in bed early. Every night this week we’ve had the lights out in the house by 8:00. And yes, I’ve been in bed by eight so far this week. I have adjusted my sleep time to allow me to get up several hours before work to get myself ready, work on grad work, make breakfast for the kids, do my devotional reading and prayer, and whatever else I can do to alleviate as much pressure on Corie as I can. Of course, going to bed early is a lot easier without the distraction and time wasters of Cable and the Internet. Perhaps I’ll fill you in on that in my next post.
--Ben

New Posts Are Coming

I have very limited access to the internet, but I wanted to jump on and let you know that new posts will be coming soon. Thanks to those who are regularly checking in.

--Ben

Thy Brother’s Keeper

Gen.4:3-9 In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord. But Abel brought fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.” Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let's go out to the field.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”“I don't know,” he replied. “Am I my brother's keeper?”

Cain is remembered for his sin against his brother, but this week I’ve been reflecting on his sin against God. In the gospels, Jesus was asked a theological question intended to scandalize his reputation as a teacher. The question was, “What is the greatest commandment?” Jesus’ answer has framed what we understand as the essence of obedience: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt. 22)

Now, back to Cain. After Cain had murdered and put his brother in the ground, God spoke to Cain and asked where Able was. At this point two things stand out to me:

God already knew where Able was. God has a habit of asking questions He already knows the answers to.

God spoke to Cain. Remember God spoke with Cain’s parents nightly in the Garden, but that relationship had ended years ago. It was not a usual event for God to speak. How could Cain have been so flip?

Cain answers, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” And there is the root of Cain’s sin against God. He could not love his neighbor (brother) as himself. All my life I thought that was a perfectly acceptable and reasonable question. Surely we are not responsible for others. Right!?!

Loving your neighbor as yourself means that you do have a responsibility to be your brother’s keeper. We can’t live their life or account for their every moment, but, to the degree we’re able, loving them as we love ourselves means we are our brother’s keeper. Consider that in light of Jesus teaching on the greatest commandment our relationship with God is directly related to our relationships with others.

--Ben