Pulling Teeth

My friend Patrick Grach posted this earlier, and I thought I'd share it with you...

Braving The Heat

Yesterday we held an outdoor service called God In The Great Outdoors. Let me tell you it was hot, but it was worth it. The Campus has a beautiful amphitheater right out our back door, so several times a year we move our service out there. It is one of my favorite places and we had the opportunity to worship God right there under the clear blue sky.

In addition we had 5 first-time guests with us to enjoy the day, and it was great getting to meet them. I felt it was unfortunate for them that so many SRCers were away. I'm sure they would have enjoyed getting a better sense for who we are as a church.

And after a one hour service we retreated into the lobby for some respite in the A/C. It was a good morning, and a great chance to worship God. Thanks to everyone that made it possible, and for those concerned about my computer that got fried, it turns out to be okay; just a little heat stroke.

--Ben

God In The Great Outdoors Sunday

This Sunday we're hosting God In The Great Outdoors a breath of fresh air for our weekend service. Once a month we host our regular service outdoors and have fun with some added creativity. Can't wait for this Sunday. Hope to see you there.

--Ben

Lunch With Dan Mucci

I spent an hour and a half with Dan Mucci today, pastor of Abundant Life Church in Glen Burnie, MD. Dan has been pastoring in Glen Burnie for 25 years, and has grown as a leader over that period of time, and is forging stronger and stronger connections with the community. He is always a source of inspiration when we talk about leadership and taking Christ's ministry to the communities around us. He has led by example.

He is another one of the pastors that I have had the chance to take out to lunch. He graciously listened to me as well, and I use the time to get his perspective on our outreach ministries and certain roadblocks we've encountered. It was a great meeting.

--Ben

What God Is Up To

I've recently been given the opportunity to meet with Pastors from our section in an official capacity, though it isn't very detailed. Essentially I was told to have a meal with the pastors and share our ministry experience with one another. It is a great opportunity to see what God is up to in other communities.

Today I met with Bill and Charles, pastors of Church At The Mall in Annapolis. They shared about the ministry they're doing there in Annapolis, and I shared what has been going on at SRC. Bill lives across the street from AACC, and told me today that he prays for us all the time. Every time he sees the campus he thinks of me and prays for our church.

It's great to have a brotherhood of pastors that are tuning into what God is up to. Bill always presses me to see that.

--Ben

Tracking Your Prayers

Prayer is a discipline that helps us to check our connection with the Creator, our means of talking it out with God, and our place of hearing His direction for our lives. Some people struggle with prayer, and I would suggest all of us struggle with prayer at one time or another (if not every day).

Here are some habits I bring to prayer, maybe they'll help you in your times of prayer:

1. Pray with a list. I have made use of index cards to list the needs and thanksgivings of my prayer life. I use this method when I need to discipline myself to keep myself on track with God. For instance, Monday I made a commitment to pray for a missionary for the next thirty days. If you know me you know that at some point in the next thirty days I'll forget. But if I'm using my cards/list it helps me remain faithful to the commitment I made. BTW, I've also put their picture by my bed so that our family can pray for them at night when we're having evening prayer.
   
2. Make a list. This is a discipline I use less frequently, but on occasion, like this morning, I take a post-it pad and jot notes of what/who I'm praying for as I pray. I'm interested in tracking what the Holy Spirit is leading me to pray for. I also use this method when I'm confused or unclear on some things, because it is more free flowing. This week we had a door that I thought for sure was opening, close on us as a church. Unclear. So I prayed and made a list to keep notes on what God was leading me to pray about. Sometimes His answers to prayer are in the prayers He leads us to pray.
   
3. Write your prayers. Sometimes I write my prayers. I use this method when I want to make sure I've said everything I want to say about something to God. I also edit them. Should we rely only on the words that come out of our mouth spoken to the air off the top of our head? I think sometimes writing my prayers helps insure that I've put some thought into what I'm saying and asking for.
   
4. Pray with music. I like to pray with music. It helps me. The singers God has blessed feed me prayer lines in the songs that they sing and I can get caught up in praise while I pray. If you are trying to discipline yourself to longer times of prayer I recommend praying with praise music.
   
5. Pray in silence. I like to pray in silence. I know I said earlier that I like music, but there are times when my spirit says, "Turn off that racket." I just want to be quiet and listen. I pray silently, but especially when I pray in silence I pray audibly. It gives me focus.

Those are some tips from my prayers to yours. Jesus modeled for us the way of life that got away to secret places with God. I hope you find Him in your secret place today. He's there waiting.

--Ben

Baseball Beauty

Saturday night I got to enjoy a little Fathers Day treat. I took Sydney to a Bowie Baysox baseball game. The Baysox are a Double A feeder in the Orioles organization and they do a great job making the game family friendly. There are children on the field every inning doing some kind of contest or game. They also have a kids play area with carousel and moon bounce.

We had a great time. In the third inning Sydney got invited to be one of the Tooth Fairies that go out and sweep first and third base to make them sparkling white as part of a sponsorship by Mr. Bristles Dental Service. She did a good job, but proved to not really like the spotlight in front of strangers. The more they cheered the more she wilted, but she held it together without tears (barely).

I was proud of her non-the-less, and thrilled that she had an opportunity like that. She even said later that she would do it again if asked. It was a great Fathers Day treat.

--Ben

Meaning From The Meaningless

I just finished reading Ecclesiastes, and I'm not sure what to say. I've read it before, but this time seems to have the most impact on me. Perhaps I'm in the years that Solomon references as so difficult, and it helps put into perspective the life I live. Could I also say that Ecclesiastes is a book written by a guy having a bad day. It is the chief area of the Bible where as you read you find that his observations are sometimes the reverse of truth kind of like ancient sarcasm.

There are times when it is downright depressing to read, and other times when the truth is so poignant I had to re-read certain verses over and over. I journaled some of them with observations and many I thought I should write down, they were so important, but decided that they had been written down and were available in my Bible anytime. I suppose I'd really like to inscribe them in the pages of my heart and mind.

At the end of his reflections on all that life is about he concludes with a summary statement:

"Now all has been heard here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment including every hidden thing whether it is good or evil."

--Ben

Eastern Section Picnic

Each year the pastors of the Eastern Section (Greater Baltimore Region) get together for a picnic. This afternoon I'll get to go and catch up with some friends, enjoy a picnic dinner, and have fun in a variety of ways. My favorite is the shooting. I'll get 10 or 15 shots at clay pigeons with the shotgun, and this year they also invited us to bring 22 pistols if we had them. I'm thankful that my brother-in-law let me borrow his. For the kiddies there are games, pony rides and a pool to swim in. They'll enjoy that. And, of course, we're looking forward to showing off Carson.

It's nice to have such a tight group of friends to work and play with.

--Ben

So What Happened? (SOTG)

Friday night was our first Screen On The Green outreach, and it was awesome. We held it in the Manhattan Beach neighborhood and had 7 families over 20 people come by. The kids had a blast and the mothers were very happy with the event. One even asked me if we would be coming back again soon.

We had great volunteers from SRC. One of my favorite things about our volunteers were the men who volunteered to help set up and once they got everything up and rolling they rolled out to take care of other obligations. It was just so helpful to have them for that set up part of the night. It would have been easy for them to not come at all, but they took time to make sure we had the help we needed when we needed it.

The Outreach Team did an excellent job of planning the event and had kids games and concessions ready to go (popcorn, bottled water, glow sticks). And as soon as the sun went down we started the movie. The event went so well that even when the electricity went out for about 60 seconds (the screen deflated and it was a little scary) the people didn't even seem to mind. The power came back on the screen re-inflated back to its original position and we kept rolling.

We learned some things for next time: improved concessions, projector issues (movie start time), lighting issues (for clean-up), etc.

Probably my fumiest memory was when I went back Saturday morning to do a check over. I took my girls with me. They had arrived Friday night after the screen was up, and left before the screen was taken down. So when we arrived on Saturday Ellie says, "Hey where's the movie?"

Thanks to everyone that made this event possible. You did a great job cultivating community connections.

To see the photo gallery CLICK HERE.
--Ben

Communication

Yesterday I was talking with some coaches about communication. It seems that no matter what size the church there is always a struggle for better communication. Even for a smaller church like ours. As I was sharing what I try to do to facilitate communication a coach said, "You know, I've been married for 23 years to one woman and we still have to constantly work on communication."

That really put the struggle into perspective for me. It will always be a struggle, and we must always work to improve.

Recently I've seen a switch in communication at SRC. I now have two new families whose primary communication with me is through Facebook. Some people use phone calls, some people use email, some people use Facebook, and some people just don't talk to me at all. (J/K)

--Ben

Today We Found An Egg Hunt And A Church

I was walking around introducing myself to people and heard her say to her daughter, "Today we found an egg hunt and a church."

It was April and Easter was the next day when we hosted our Easter Egg Hunt outreach. We had never had an event more than 60 people, but on that day we had over 300. It was mobbed in the lobby, and for the first time I felt that we had figured out how to effectively reach out to the community. What a great blessing. Melissa, the woman who said the above statement, is living in our county and had been trying to find a church that she could really connect to. That day she found her church. I baptized her Sunday.

I share this story because this Friday we're doing Screen On The Green, an outreach by showing a movie. I'm anticipating what God is going to do. We believe that we need to cultivate community connections in order to build relationships to share Jesus with others. This is what we're about. Giving people a chance to find their place in God's family at Severn River Church.

Hope you can be part of it. What if you walked up and heard a parent say to their child, "Tonight we saw a movie and found a church."

--Ben

A Pure Heart

Sometimes we prefer to have a prepared heart above a pure heart, but this is not the instruction of Jesus. He said, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."

We prefer a prepared heart don't we? I do. When I'm facing conflict I start preparing my heart. I line up arguments and get my hackles up. Think of it. The person with the strongest, boldest, or most impassioned argument usually wins the day. And I want to win. I don't like losing. (Yes, I'm still and Orioles fan)

Recently I was preparing myself for a fight when I realized God was not calling me to be prepared. He was calling me to be pure. When I face the confrontation I found out there was no confrontation. It was all in my mind and heart that was racing away.

I don't always get this right, but can I tell you something? When I am living with a pure heart, the preparation is easier because the heart flows out of purity. And when the purity of God is evident no amount of stacked power arguments will offset it.

I spent some time repenting and asking for a pure heart. A pure heart is more important that a prepared heart.

--Ben

Church Life Cohort

For two days this week I'm part of a cohort of pastors from MD and VA. We're hearing from a variety of presenters learning systems for church health, and connecting with coaches that will work with us on implementation over the next couple months until we meet again.

--Ben

Update: Carson's Dr. Appt.

Just got home from the Dr. and everything was very good. He gained 8 or 9 oz. this week. So he is on his way. Thanks for the prayers.

--Ben

Carson's Dr. Appt.

We're heading to our third weekly doctor's appointment today. Carson has not be gaining weight like he should so we are required to take weekly visits. I'm thankful for our doctor's manner, Carson has not been losing weight, but he has not been gaining even close to what is normal. Our doctor has given us some strategies to use with Carson, and has repeatedly said that he is not alarmed. But the time for alarm is coming if nothing changes.

I feel pretty confident that he has grown this week, so I'm not overly anxious about it. But I would ask for your prayers.

Thanks,
Ben

Irrelevant Arguments

Today I was reminded again of my old life, as a student at Calvary Baptist Church Academy. This private, Christian school was the sole provider of academic education from Kindergarten through the twelfth grade. I'm so thankful for the education that I received there. It provided me with a great foundation on which to further my studies in under-graduate and post-graduate academic work.

Though it wasn't promoted in the curriculum, the conflict of religious ideas was a regular topic of debate. Anytime you put people from different religious backgrounds in a setting to have religious instruction it is bound to happen. Perhaps it still does today?

Recently I've been thinking about these arguments and debates; the "my church is better than your church" battles. And I've come to realize that these conversations worse than pointless are irrelevant. Irrelevant to what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Irrelevant to meeting the needs of people far from God. Irrelevant to accomplishing the mission of Christ. Irrelevant to the need of the poor, the orphan and widows. Irrelevant to a post-Christian society. In fact, these debates are divisive rather than collaborative undermining the very nature of Jesus' church.

Titus 3:9, "But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law because they are unprofitable and useless."

--Ben

The Things God Hates

Recently I receive an email that got me thinking about the things God hates. This morning in my Bible reading I came across them, and it gave me pause to meditate on them a bit. The six things God hates and a seventh that He loathes with a passion are found in Proverbs 6:16-19:

• Eyes of the arrogant
• A tongue that lies
• Hands that murder the innocent
• A heart that hatches evil plots
• Feet that race down a wicked path
• A mouth that lies under oath
• A troublemaker in the family.

--Ben

What Is Going On? (Baptism)

This Sunday we're celebrating another Baptism at SRC. Mike and Melissa Frey want to be baptized, so we're having a party.

We'll be meeting at the Harp's house at 4:00 p.m. on Sunday, June 13. You're welcome to come and celebrate with us. We're gonna party potluck style so bring a dish to share with everyone.

At SRC we love baptizing people. It is part of our mission as a church of becoming a significant church in the greater Annapolis area; making disciples, baptizing them, and teaching them to obey God's word. Whenever we do this we celebrate with a party because we're pleasing God and doing what this family of friends is all about. Come out and join us. If you'd like to be baptized please let Pastor Ben know immediately at ben@severnriverchurch.com.

--Ben

Managing Demands

Someone shared a piece of advice with me years ago: If you don't have a plan for your schedule everyone else will.

Expectations and demands abound whenever you work with others. Whether you work above, below or beside them there will be expectations and demands. Some people have a difficult time putting them into perspective. Others just find it difficult to say no. I've learned that the best I can be for everyone is a leader on target by disciplining my time and schedule. I have a schedule full of tasks to be completed, and in certain seasons it seems a list of tasks that others want to put on my schedule. Sometimes it is for good reason. For example it might be something only I can do, or it might be because of a level of expertise that I have in a certain area. To the person asking me that task is of great importance, and those tasks are important. But in order to serve them best I have to prioritize them in line with where I'm heading. It may not meet the urgency that others feel, but it is the better path in the long run.

Demands will always abound, but you have to be able to manage the demands.

--Ben

What is Going On? (SOTG)

This summer we'll be hosting a ministry outreach called Screen On The Green (SOTG). SOTG is about serving our community and building friendships. We offer screenings of movies on a jumbo inflatable screen on Friday evenings throughout the summer. There will also be games and activities for the kids in advance of the movies, and an invitation to attend the church and visit our website. We're showing films in local communities' common areas. In June we have one scheduled in Manhattan Beach (Severna Park) and Elizabeth's Landing (Pasadena) in July.

We'd love to add another community or two. Here's how you can help...invite us to your community.

Let me give you an example:

A family in our church lives in Elizabeth's Landing, so we approached the community about using their common area (for a fee). They responded that we were welcome to do it free of charge since we're giving it as a gift to the community. Maybe a door in your community could open too! If you're interested in helping us contact your community leader please let me know at ben@severnriverchurch.com.

Screen On The Green. Coming Soon to a neighborhood near you.

--Ben

What Is Going On? (Gitgo)

We have got such an awesome summer planned for outreach, and there seems to be a lot coming up, so I wanted to fill you in on what is going on.

God In The Great Outdoors (GITGO) is a monthly outreach that we enjoy during summertime. It occurs once each month and is an outdoor service. We hold this special service outside our building in the amphitheater on the West Campus of Anne Arundel Community College. Friends are welcome. We find Gitgo is a great first touch for friends that you've been serving and sharing Christ with. It is a relaxed environment with good music and an extra dose of creativity.

You should know that you and your friends can park where you normally do, and enter the building the same as usual. You'll just hang a left at the hospitality table and head outside. We recommend bringing a lawn chair or blanket for comfort sake, and dress casually.

These are a lot of fun and we can't wait.

--Ben

Artists -- Want To Win $25?

Graphic Artists --

We're interested in giving away temporary tattoos at our family outreaches this summer. You can help and put a little green in your pocket.

Turn our logo into a kid friendly, children's ministry logo (i.e. turn the triangle into a sailboat) and, if your entry is selected, we'll give you $25.00. Submit .jpg to ben@severnriverchurch.com. Entries must be received by Thursday June 10, 2010.

Logo does not have to incorporate words. We're primarily interested in the picture.

The Outreach Team of Severn River Church will judge submissions, and pick a winner.

--Ben

The Other Stuff Pastors Do

Most people can think of the things that pastors do, but sometimes they don't know all that pastors do. In fact, sometimes I don't even know what I may end up doing. Over the last couple days I've been going to Bro. Myer's apartment to gather goods that the family are donating, and taking them to donations centers and other ministries to distribute them to the needy. It's been pretty interesting to figure out how to load this stuff into my Nissan Versa, turning a sub-compact into a moving truck.

Then Saturday I spent a couple hours working on the Church's F150. It's a 1995 and was donated to us a couple years ago. She still runs like a champ, but needed a part replaced, so Saturday I was Pastor Mechanic. I wanted to blog about it on Saturday and say how proud I was of myself for having found, diagnosed, and fixed the problem (thermostat) all for less than $20.00 of God's money. But I thought I'd better make sure she made it to church and back before I mentioned it. :-)

Now I'm headed out again to do the other stuff pastors do.

--Ben

Press And Release

As you can tell by my svelte build, I'm more than a little familiar with lifting weights. :-) Though I haven't lifted for many years, I do remember it fondly and one lesson that I've been thinking about lately is the value of press and release.

Muscles are built by pressing them to the point that they begin to tear and then releasing giving blood and amino acids enough time to repair and build up the tears. Muscles can't be built up through constant pressing. There has to be time of release as well, and vice versa.

The same is true of spiritual growth and many other disciplines of life. In our society we press in the fall through Christmas then release for Christmas break. Then press again in the spring till Summer, and release again. That schedule helps us manage life and grow stronger. As spiritual beings we must understand this principle and make sure we are managing our self through seasons of pressing and seasons of release. It's why our church takes the approach to small groups that we do. In the Fall and Spring we do curriculum/learning groups, and in the summer we release with interest-based groups.

I'm looking forward to the release. I've got a few ends to tie up on some ministry obligations and then I look forward to cross-training. This summer while I get to rest from the rigor of some ministries we get to press in Outreach through Screen On The Green and God In The Great Outdoors. It'll be nice to press there and release in other areas.

What do you need to start releasing right now, and in what do you need to start pressing?

--Ben

Making An Office A Home

I gotta say right now I am working out of my favorite office ever. Last year the church leased an office as a sub-lease and I thought I liked that, but this office is better. Maybe I'm biased because I built it, but I like it.

I'm starting to make it a little more comfortable. Much of a pastor's work is creative in nature, so I'm trying to make it a place that fosters that type of response when I come in. I've never been a big picture guy, but I've already got plans for some pictures to put up around the walls. And I got to move out of the cold, corporate bookshelves that I salvaged from a closing business ten years ago. I got some barrister bookcases from Craigslist, and installed them yesterday with the help of my girls, Sydney and Ellie. It's nice to have some bookcases that are actually for books. Only problem is that I already exceed the capacity. I'll make due until I can increase my collection of shelves for my increasing collection of books.

--Ben

Make Them Say "No" To Your Face

In a world of digital media and social networking our conversations seem to be less and less in person. One thing that recently stood out to me that I wanted to pass on to the digital generation is this: Make them say "No" to your face.

Leaders need to be good negotiators. This is not a trait that I picked up as a child. It is something I've had to work on as an adult by finding mentors and learning from them. Leader, if you are not a student of negotiation, you will get No slammed in the face of your vision. If your vision is worthwhile you need to be able to open the door to Yes. Here are some tips:

• Never negotiate through technology. I understand this isn't always possible, but if you can help it meet to negotiate; it's too easy for the other party to decline your request or proposal. After all, they are just typing/texting and No is shorter than Yes. We've become used to an Ebay world in which you post your bid and get it or not. There are some things that you will need to move your vision forward and you can't wait around for the next one. Negotiate face to face. If you need a Yes and they might give you a No, then make them say "No" to your face.
  
• Talk to the decision-maker. When you're positioning something important make sure that you are with the person who is making the decision. The same is true when dealing with middle-men. If in your negotiation there is an "unseen" decision-maker, then bypass the middle-man and go right to the decision maker. Leverage this unseen decision-maker in your conversation.
• Negotiate through submission. Others would probably call this being passive-aggressive, but stick with me for a moment. When I'm negotiating I try to take on the humble role. I approach it with an attitude that the other person probably knows more about the proposal, they do more with the resources than I probably do, and they are better negotiators than I am. Sometimes this is true, sometimes it isn't, but I always try to approach it this way because true or not, at the end of the negotiation, I want to be able to work with this person again. If I start from a position of power and control I may lose the opportunity to deal with them again. A No today might be a Yes at the table next time if I will be humble, kind, and workable. Now the caveat is that though I take the humble position I still have a place I'm trying to get in the negotiation. I still am moving toward the Yes I'm after. I'm just doing it with concern for the other person and the process of the negotiation.
• Do your banking in person. This might seem a little tangential, but I really think it is a principle that has farther reaching implications. Can you guess who people like to help? People they know. I bank in person. It takes me a little longer than the drive through with the video screen, but when I need banking help my bank tellers know my face. They spot me credibility simply because I smile at them and say warm things like, "Hello". That's really about all it takes. It's true of the vendors that you negotiate with as well. Take time to drop by face to face often enough that when it comes time for negotiation people will want to help you.

I hope these tips are helpful to you, and I hope you get the Yes that you need.

--Ben