Final Drop Off

Today was the final drop off of equipment to Restore Church in Havre de Grace. I met the pastor this morning dropping off equipment that we had in storage. So now that part is done.

He has been really grateful for everything that we've been able to give him. As my presbyter said, "planting seed in good soil."

Freely we received, freely we give.

--Ben

Writing

To the faithful readers who have been checking in daily here at BenjaminRainey.com I want to say thanks for your continued confidence. I appreciate the small measure that you give me by visiting this site to read. I have enjoyed writing here going back to 2005. Wow, that sounds like a long time. Over that time my writing has primarily focused on Severn River Church, and my life as its pastor. Now that the church has closed I have some challenges when it comes to writing listed as follows:

1. So much to write, so little time. That may seem funny as currently my workload is greatly reduced, but I find the posts in my head are of some significance and so I want to dedicate proper time to their presentation for posterity's sake.
2. Seasons change. "If a man thinks he leads and has no one following, then he is only taking a walk" (Maxwell) Right now I find myself in a position that I haven't been in for over 10 years. I don't have a group that I'm leading directly. I'm sure I still have influence in different nooks of the world, but no direct influence. I'm recalibrating what I might say during this season. Right now I'm just walking more quietly.
   
3. I will write. I am not a great writer, but I enjoy the habit. This is an outlet for me to share and process the thoughts that I have on life, ministry and leadership. During this time I'm just feeling a bit private. I'm sure it will pass. I'm looking forward to the future of this website, and am thinking through some options of where it will evolve in the future.

Thanks for reading.

--Ben

Just A Nobody

One of the difficult parts of becoming a disciple of Jesus is that everything you've ever learned about how life works is turned upside-down. Instead of getting to the front of the line, your goal is getting to the back. Instead of getting to the seat of honor, your goal is the lowest seat. Instead of walking your obligatory mile, you seek to walk two. Instead of becoming somebody, we should be happy to be a nobody.

In Romans chapter 4 Paul discusses this situation in the life of Abraham.

Romans 4:17 MSG

"We call Abraham “father” not because he got God’s attention by living like a saint, but because God made something out of Abraham when he was a nobody. Isn’t that what we’ve always read in Scripture, God saying to Abraham, “I set you up as father of many peoples”? Abraham was first named “father” and then became a father because he dared to trust God to do what only God could do: raise the dead to life, with a word make something out of nothing."

Abraham was a nobody that was living out in the wilderness, in a tent, because he had dedicated his life simply to following God. Those of us in the family of God are regarded as children of Abraham, a nobody, and God was satisfied that in his life being a nobody was enough. Being sexually impotent in his old age was enough for God to call something out of nothing. Enough because God-stories are always played out through the lives of nobodies. And Abraham was satisfied to believe and obey.

What are you? What can we be anyway? Significance, as the world defines it, is a fickle mirage. Successes, on the world's scorecard, are likely to be blown away in the winds of time; nothing that lasts.

The meek inherit the earth.

--Ben

Preaching

I have enjoyed preaching occasionally at Arnold Christian Academy over the last ten years or so. This morning I had the chance to go again and share God's word. I spoke on God's record of keeping promises. I enjoyed preaching there very much.

ACA only goes through the 8th grade. So each time I speak I invite the 8th graders up to the front and ask them a question related to my message. I make a big deal about it and the kids love it. The 8th graders are always a little embarrassed, but by the end I think they enjoy it and feel esteemed.

--Ben

Light Of The World

What does it mean to be the light of the world? Jesus said in the sermon on the mount that we, His followers, are the light of the world. The metaphor of light in Jewish tradition is understood as a reference to themselves as a people; that they are the light of the world. Jesus taught this idea to a Jewish audience and as with much of the rest of the sermon on the mount they were hearing ideas common to their heritage, but presented with a new perspective. God's promise to Abraham was that his decedents would be the light of the world and that as the nations wanted to repent they would come to Him through the Jewish nation. As the Levites were the priests for the tribes of Israel, Israel would be the priests of the world.

As disciples, folllowers of Jesus we take His teaching on the mount to include us. We have been grafted into Abraham's line and are included in the light of the world. I have a Christian friend of Jewish heritage who heard me teach this and asked, "You think this applies to non-Jews?" Absolutely. Despite his heritage the scripture is clear that we are adopted sons and daughters of God. That through the sacrifice of Jesus the way to being the people of God is not tied up in genealogical trees, but has extended to all men.

It struck me this morning as I went for my morning walk My mind recalled something that my father said this year, "Hunters know the difference between the night and the dawn. The light turns grayscale to color." The first couple trips around my loop all the houses are gray in the lack of light, but when the sun brings light the color changes the scene.

We're the light of the world we bring the color to the landscape of God's creation.

--Ben

A Quote From C.S. Lewis

I follow CS Lewis on Twitter and each day I get an quote from his extensive writing. Lewis was a philosopher, professor, and author. He was asked to do a series of radio programs during blitz of WWII to build the faith of the Brits. That collection became a book entitled Mere Christianity, and that has been an inspirational book to me. He is also known for The Chronicles of Narnia, an allegorical children's story in multiple volumes.

Anyway, his quote today struck me as particularly poignant. Enjoy...

"There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot because our charitable expenditure excludes them."

--Ben

What Happens To The Church's Stuff

With the church closing I have heard a question pop up time and again: What is happening to the Church's stuff. Well, there are two categories I guess -- goods and cash. Our goods, all the equipment that fits in the trailer for example will be donated to other church ministries in the area. We're glad to give a gift, our drum kit, to Pasadena Assembly of God. We'll be giving a video projector to a church in Baltimore that would like to update their A/V, but don't have the money. And we'll be giving the rest to a church plant in Havre de Grace, MD. We know what a blessing it was when we were the recipients of equipment, now we're glad to be able to bless others.

The cash is the property of the Potomac District, and will be turned over to them at the conclusion of church business.

--Ben

Unwitting Accomplices

I've been reading the gospels lately, and have been reading about the events that led up to Jesus' death. It is surprising to me that the Pharisees and the governing body of the Temple, the Sanhedrin, allowed themselves to be overtaken with rage and crucify Jesus and fulfill so many prophecies. You might have thought cooler heads would prevail.

In Acts we have the Pharisee Gamaliel telling his cohorts that in the matter of Peter and John they should back off. If these men were truly working on behalf of God there was nothing they could do, and if they weren't then they'd fizzle like every other upstart movement popular in that time of Jewish history. This was within 100 days of Jesus' crucifixion. Where was Gamaliel's voice on the night in question.

Shouldn't someone have spoken up and said, "Let's wait until after Passover week. We don't want to make Jesus look like a sacrificial lamb." Someone to say, "Let's not trade him for Barrabas and risk making Jesus the scapegoat (a prophetic Jewish symbol)." Who approved thirty pieces of silver as a price for Jesus' betrayal to fulfill the prophecy of Jeremiah? Who decided to let him be whipped bearing stripes (Isaiah), before being accursed for hanging on a tree (Deuteronomy). I'd have thought somebody would have seen these things stacking up and said, let's wait a little longer.

Ah, but the sovereignty of God allowed them to be blinded by their own rage, hatred, and love of self and power to make them unwitting accomplices in His redemption plan.

--Ben

From The Mind Of Ben Rainey

When I watch a television show, especially dramas, I pay attention to who the guest stars are. Nine times out of ten the one guest star I recognize turns out to be the bad guy. The reason is that the bad guy is going to have to act in the climatic scene, so the casting department makes sure they have quality actors in those roles. It's a very important trick to figuring out what will happen in the end from the beginning, which is important to me.

Every story has to have a conflict/crisis and a climax where the conflict or crisis is resolved. The writers in most cases offer multiple suspects. Back in the day whoever Scooby Doo met first was, zoinks, the bad guy. Nowadays writers try to make it less obvious by having multiple people, but like the Scooby Doo days, most of them have the telltale sign of making the most recognizable actor the bad guy.

And that's how I see it.

--Ben

Philippians 4:6-8 Letter

Last week I sent a letter to SRCers that are dealing with the pain of losing a church that they love. I wanted to record it here for posterity:

One passage of scripture has been replaying in my mind and it is from Philippians 4:6-8, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

This passage is important for the following reasons:

Anxiety — There can be quite a bit of anxiety right now. Anxiety about where we’ll go from here. What will the next church be like? Will friends for SRC end up there together? Will we all end up in different places? What do other people think about us? We believe that we have honored God, do other people view us as failures? So much anxiety. But godly wisdom says that we can exchange anxiety for peace through prayer.

Thanksgiving — Our prayer and petition should be served to God with a side of thanksgiving. In just about a week we will pause with family and friends to enjoy the Thanksgiving holiday. I want to encourage you take time each day to give thanks to God. Find all the things you can for which to give thanks. I think it is a great spiritual discipline of choosing what we will remain focused on.

Peace — God’s peace is peace whether we can understand why or not. Sometimes even with the circumstances of life stacked against us, in the face of unmet expectations, and when things haven’t gone as we planned, somehow God gives us peace that He’s with us. And when our confidence is entrusted to him through prayer, Jesus himself guards our hearts and minds. As he stands guard he keeps our hearts and minds from running back to anxiety.

Choice — We can choose what we keep our mind focused on. Choose to think on good, pure, noble, and praiseworthy things. In my sermon two weeks ago, on the rules of the road ahead, I called for us to yield the right of way to others. The reason is that others are going to do and say things that are hurtful. In most cases there is no intention on their part to hurt us, but due to misinformation and misunderstanding and our process of grieving they hurt us nonetheless. I want to ask you again to yield the right of way to others. Most people have never experienced the kind of grief that we are facing. They just don’t understand. Be patient with them. Think of the good, pure, noble, and praiseworthy things that God is doing in those that offend us unintentionally. We can choose what we keep our mind focused on.

Over the next four weeks we have the opportunity to work through our grief with those that understand most — one another. I want to ask you to make a commitment to finish well, and be part of the final days of our fellowship. In an effort to allow everyone to be part of the services and receive the ministry of the word we will be keeping the children in with us during services. They have been very well behaved over the last two weeks, and I’m sure will be for the remaining services. The services will be as follows:

· November 21st — God’s promise to His Family

[A special element of this service will be the dedication of Carson and Calvin to the Lord. This will be a special celebration that we’ll share together.]

· November 28th — God’s promise for His Church

· December 5th — God’s promise for the World

· December 12th — All Church Celebration

Our final gathering (December 12) will take place at Joe and Jess Harp’s house for a brunch together. The focus of the morning will be a remembrance of all the wonderful experiences we’ve enjoyed as part of Severn River Church. This will NOT be a weepfest, it will be a chance to laugh, and share the joy of obedience and unity in the mission of Christ.

Baby Dedication

Yesterday I dedicated my son Carson, and my nephew Calvin to the Lord in a special ceremony at Severn River Church. Over the last few years I've always enjoyed the special ceremonies that Pastoral ministry has afforded me. Weddings, funerals, baptisms and baby dedications are wonderful and spiritual moments.

I've done baby dedications for my own daughter, my niece, and children of good friends from the church, but yesterday was the first time I've ever done more than one at a time. Having both boys was a real treat. They were both very cute all dressed up. I wish I had pictures to show you, but I was in a lot more pictures than I took yesterday.

These two precious boys are embarking on a life that holds infinite possibilities. Baby dedication is about the parents, extended family, and church family recognizing their responsibilities for the godly upbringing of these children. We dedicated them to the Lord for His good pleasure to do with them and call them to whatever he wishes. We view our time with them, rearing them in our home, as a gift and loan from the Lord.

I was a proud father and uncle yesterday. Thanks to everyone that was a part.

--Ben

An SRCers Perspective

One SRCer's view on the church closing and what these things mean.

Click Here To Read

Church Announcement

On Sunday, November 14, Severn River Church hosted our Presbyter, Don Cox, for a congregational meeting. After discussion of the current and future circumstances he announced that he will be making a recommendation to the Potomac District Board of Presbyters for the closing of Severn River Church.

Over the last few weeks I have worked with the Board of Directors to gather information from the congregation to get the best picture of SRC's possible future. After the data was collected a future emerged that would create a tremendous challenge to move forward. The District spoke with Ariel, our Associate Pastor, about the possibility of leading the church, and it was determined that it wasn't the leading of the Lord. In the end, in the face of tremendous challenges, the decision was made to recommend closure.

Don made it very clear that the District prefers to help churches move forward, but in this circumstance couldn't recommend that. He tried to be kind, knowing that the announcement would be very difficult because of the level of commitment and love of SRC that members have. He said that the District is not giving up on our town, but will regroup and look at future opportunities.

Severn River Church will conclude services with its final celebration on December 12, 2010. Please pray for us during this time of transition.

--Ben

Youtube -- DIYs best Friend

If you are a Do It Yourselfer (DIY) like me there are a number of projects that you'd like to do, but just seem a little unsure of how to do. I know I've referenced this before, but you can learn to do just about anything on youtube.

We've been having a problem with our door on our minivan. I found a website that gives step by step instructions how to fix it, but with no pictures. I thought, "I wish I could see someone do this." So I typed it into youtube and bam found it. You're probably not interested in the video below, but I just wanted to show you a typical how to video.

Thank You Veterans

Today is Veterans Day, and I want to take a moment to say thank you to those who have served and those currently serving to defend our country and the cause of liberty. I suppose the older one gets the more valuable life appears. The young can't appreciate the experiences of life the same way as the aged because they haven't experienced the depth of friendship, marriage, parenthood, and all those things that make life rich, at least I know I didn't. The more wealthy one becomes in life experiences the more we recognize that it is possible only through the sacrifice of others; especially the young who have put their lives on the line. Those young men and women who make the ultimate sacrifice do so having never enjoyed the gift that they provide for others. Thank you to all who are serving and have served.

--Ben

Two Sides To Calling

In scripture the term "called" in relation to a vocation ministry is only used twice, yet the term "called" in relationship to every believer is used more often. I have felt a calling to ministry in my life. Yesterday I included the question "Is Pastor Ben leaving the ministry?" as an exaggeration to demonstrate how rumors get out of control. Well, it turns out...

I am not leaving the ministry, but I am leaving Severn River Church.

Apparently the rumor has already gone around though that I'm leaving the ministry. When you are dedicating yourself to serving the Lord you serve at His will. There are two sides to understanding His will. One is a releasing from, the other is a calling to. So far over the last 15 years I have always had a calling to: calling to VFCC, calling to PAG, calling to SRC. In this case I find myself released from Severn River Church without a real sense of where I'm called to.

This is probably where the confusion comes in for others. We are much more comfortable with knowing the answers than we are with only questions. But this is the faith part of following God's lead.

Release From: Faith
Calling To: Faithfulness

A friend of mine said that he couldn't imagine what I might do next because there are so many options: Further education, higher education, staff pastor, lead pastor, large church, turn around church, etc.

Well, I'm trying to figure that one out right now and looking for the door that God will open. I'm not sure it will open right away. But when it does I want the courage and obedience to walk through it.

--Ben

Degrees Of Separation

Is Severn River Church closing? Did Pastor Ben leave the church last week? Is Ben leaving the ministry? These and all other questions can be answered here or in personal conversation with me. However, it happens anytime there is news like this, speculation is passed on as fact, and it's a matter of degrees of separation. For as long as we ask questions of people that are separated from the event we will get their answer with their spin.

The week leading up to the announcement last Sunday I went to each household in the church and spoke with people to make sure they got the chance to hear the news from me. I had talked some of them into coming through a similar conversation. I felt they deserved to hear about my leaving the same way. When we got to the service on Sunday morning there were no surprises.

In one conversation though I found out that they had heard from a relative (that doesn't attend our church) that our church had disbanded the week prior; a week this couple had been away from church. Wow, it's amazing how information gets twisted.

Severn River Church is in a vulnerable spot, a transition no doubt, but the church did not close last week, nor will it next week. Some have misunderstood discussions about vulnerability as a declaration of closure. Severn River Church held an informational meeting Sunday to discuss the challenges that are ahead and poll the congregation about their commitment to facing those challenges. Tonight the church board is meeting to interpret the results of that poll, and on Sunday we'll host a District Official to discuss the options the church faces.

My resignation and the church's future are two separate issues. The Assemblies of God has classifications of churches. Our church is a Home Missions church which means it is ultimately run by the Board of Presbyters. We are submitting to a process they have approved.

So, a couple things I'd ask moving forward. I'd ask you to not be part of spreading misinformation, because it doesn't benefit anyone. I'd ask you to be considerate of SRCers that love their church, and are facing a turbulent time of transition right now. I'd ask you to not assume anything.

I've spoken with SRCers this week that have been hurt because of the assumptions of people that aren't part of the church and the pressure from the "cloud of witnesses". What we are doing at SRC is what is patterned in the book of Acts 15:28, "it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us..." We are seeking what seems good to the Holy Spirit and us for the future of this ministry.

I'll keep you informed of the facts as they unfold.

--Ben

Only As Far As Facebook

One of the issues that I have faced is the relationship that I have with the people of SRC. A common thought I've heard expressed is sorrow over the loss of friendship that occurs when distance separates friends and family. The, "What will I do without you?" thoughts that are expressed by some are a grief for that relationship loss.

We live in a world that is different from what it was only a decade ago. We now have Facebook, Linkedin, and all sorts of social networking on the interwebs. Of course you'll still be able to keep up with me through www.benjaminrainey.com so long as I pay the bill each year or two to renew the domain name.

More importantly though I will be able to remain in contact with you. Relationships change no doubt, but we have more resources now than ever before to be able to connect when we need to.

--Ben

Baby Dedications

Hey on November 21st we'll be dedicating Carson Rainey and Calvin Gilt to the Lord at SRC. I'm looking forward to this special service. Carson and Calvin are cousins. Carson is, of course, my son and Calvin is my nephew.

If you have the chance, we'd love to have you join us for this special day. The dedication will be held during our regular morning service.

--Ben

Friends And Counselors

Throughout the last month and a half or so, as I came to the decision of resigning, I turned to a number of trusted friends and counselors to share what I was thinking and sensing in my heart was to be my next step. I have been blessed with relationships with men of God that I can trust for good direction.

What a blessing that the first person I would turn to would be my own father. I could probably write a post on his role in this decision (and probably will), but for now let me say that I'm so thankful to have a loving father that gives me godly advice and gracious love.

Several other pastors and leaders were kind enough to talk with me and help me gain a better perspective of my future. In times of transition it is always good to turn to godly influences and get their thoughts and advice. Here's the thing: sometimes they contradict one another, because they're human. But in the conversations you allow God to speak to you through his people. That is the benefit. He uses the collection of voices to speak to you. God speaks to us through His word, His people, and His Holy Spirit.

If you're facing transition right now don't do it in silence. Find trusted, godly friends and counselors to help you.

--Ben

The Blindside

How do you announce a major life decision? Who should know, and when, and in what order, and to what degree?

These are questions that I've wrestled with over the last few weeks. I talked to my father first. (He is a vault. If you tell him something in confidence you can be sure it will stay confidential.) I talked to my sister second because she has been a partner with me working as my employee at the church for the last year plus. Then presbyter, certain close friends, mentors/pastors, my family, my inlaws, the church board individually then collectively, the church members individually then collectively. Always carefully widening the boundaries of who knows what. Carefully because I didn't want those that are affected the most by the decision finding out from those that are affected to a lesser degree. So a lot of agreements were made that the information would stay secret until the appropriate time. I have to tell you as someone that values transparency that I hated carrying the secret. And it disappointed me, though it didn't surprise me, when confidences were broken through misunderstandings, and misinformation got out to people ahead of my ability to meet with them personally. But that's the rumor mill, it's just the way things are. Overall, everyone was very helpful in keeping things appropriately quiet.

It turns out though that when the decision becomes public there are a lot more people that are shocked, surprised, even interested than you can think of. And there just is no soft way of saying I'm leaving the church I've founded, that you've given money and prayer support to, that some have just connected with, and that others were meaning to connect with. The expectations that come from that cloud of witnesses is something I've never had to deal with before. I maybe haven't handled it the best. I'm learning through this transition. I think generationally/technologically there is probably some difference to the dissemination of information. Those of a previous generation seem to be more private. To them openly discussing my thoughts and feelings on a website is probably unfamiliar at best, totally inappropriate at worst. It certainly speeds up the process. In years gone by a pastor could leave a church and it take months, maybe years for that news to move through channels of interpersonal discussion. Now I type it, Twitter repeats it, Facebook announces it and I have people states away sending me messages expressing their reaction. (Appreciated btw) I guess in some way I feel this gives direction to the rumor mill because at least there is a place where people can hear from the horses mouth.

I know that my announcement has blindsided many. It was not my intention to hurt or confuse anyone. As I've said and written I'm available to answer questions you may have. Change is unsettling, often it is easier to deal with if we have the blanks filled in, as it were. I'd be happy to do that.

--Ben

Why So Quiet?

Some have asked why my blogging has dropped off so much over the last month. Well, if you haven't read my previous post you might want to. Yesterday I announced my resignation from Severn River Church. I published my resignation address to fill in blanks that some of you may have. News like this doesn't take long to travel, and doesn't take long to get distorted, so I've put it up to help people understand and put it in perspective. This week I'll probably start adding posts related to the questions that I've received from those I've talked to about it. Chances are the questions that you have will be answered this week, but if not don't hesitate to ask. A pastor's resignation is different from any other it seems. I'm happy to try to help you, it will be helpful for me too.

--Ben

My Resignation Address From This Morning At SRC

There are two ways to live this life. One is to live for your self, the other is to die to self. One leads us to pride, selfishness, and the hollowness of a life stolen, killed, and destroyed; the other to an abundant life in Jesus Christ. I have always tried to live my life as one who dies to self and follows Jesus. I take him at his word that whoever tries to keep his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake shall find it. It is with this core belief that I am compelled to resign from Severn River Church at the end of this year.

Six years ago I began to hear God leading me to leave a church I loved to start a new church, and four years ago we launched it. For four years we have worked, and sweated, and laughed, and cried together for the mission of Christ: making disciples, baptizing them, and teaching them to obey God’s word. And for four years we have seen the hand of God move in and through us. Over the last few weeks I have met with many of you to talk with you about my decision. I have been received warmly as family. I appreciate that. That’s not to say that everyone has been happy or uplifted by this decision. I understand that it has hurt the sensitive parts of your hearts, and it has mine as well. Some began to share memories of times my ministry helped them in particularly difficult times in their life; the low points. It took me by surprise I guess, because I don’t think about those low points. I see the highpoints of growth, overcoming, and maturity. I love Severn River Church. I love its people, its families, I love its mission and mission field. I have learned so much here with you, from you.

My next steps are a little unclear. I don’t have an offer from another church, and have only started preparing to take the next step since coming to this decision. My future is in the Lord’s hands, and I trust that he will provide what I need. I wrestled with this decision a lot, and didn’t come to it quickly. I want you to know that I love you, I am proud of you, and I am thankful for you and all that you’ve done as you’ve partnered with me in this plant.

I recently met with a mentor of mine to discuss this decision and my future. He asked me if I could write the script of my life where I would see it going from here. I told him that I didn’t know. The script of my life had been written I thought. I would be at SRC, I thought, for twenty or thirty years. The Lord has other plans.

I will conclude my ministry at Severn River Church at the end of this year. Over the weeks to come I’ll be doing my best to lead the congregation through this time of transition. There are sure to be challenges but also joys along the way. I pray that throughout this transition we will continue to grow in the theme that we embraced for this year, “Formed in His image”. We began this year by meeting at Pastor Ariel’s condo for brunch. While we were there we passed out play dough and practiced forming the clay in our hands. It seems that God had a plan for that as he was shaping me, preparing me for this next step. And in the same way he has been shaping and preparing you. Here’s what I know: We will walk together for the next two months as pastor and parishioner. We will walk forever as brothers and sisters in Christ. In closing I want to share a scripture that sums up how I feel from 1 Thessalonians 2:8, “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.

Some Things I Need To Say About My Wife

I don't think everyone gets who they deserve in marriage. There are a lot of people that think that way. I am not one of them, because I am living proof that sometimes people get more, much more than they deserve. Conversely, Corie is proof that sometimes people get far less than they deserve.

When I met Corie she was the quietest girl in school. She was pretty and interesting to me, and in the insecurity of my youth my flirting was beneath her quality. Yet when I asked her out she said yes, and we enjoyed baseball games and fireworks together. Much more could be said of our courtship, but there was seven years of that so suffice to say we loved each other from a young age and knew that we enjoyed something special.

You'd think that after dating for seven years you'd know the person you were marrying pretty well. But there has been much that we've had to learn over the last nine years of marriage. She's learned that I'm forgetful, and have a strong tendency to want to serve the church. At times in my life that dedication to work has been a great frustration to her, and it is something that I continually try to keep in moderated check. I often put the needs of others and the church ahead of her needs. This is the real me that she has had to learn about while we've been married. My rewards are eternal, and not much anywhere else. Still she loves me and makes due with what we have providing a good home for our children, and a safe place for me to come and rest. In some churches there are traditional stereotypes of what the pastor's wife ought to do and be. Corie doesn't play the piano or sing that well, and I remember a time when she was concerned about how she would be received by churches that we served. I told her that I didn't need her to do any of that. I needed her to believe in me and nurture our children. She gets an A+ in fulfilling my expectations.

Corie has many traits that I have learned about over the years, as well. She is direct, sees the world in black and white, and sees only here and now. She helps keep me grounded. I prefer to always look to there and then. She keeps our home running smoothly. She is frugal to the point that when I'm able to give her money to spend on herself (not often) she always comes home with stuff for our kids or part of the money saved for future use for the family. Whenever she has a big spending day she feels the need to explain how each piece of clothing was a deal. I gave up caring a long time ago, if she bought, then it was worth buying; I know that.

Corie is always tired. She could look for a bed anytime of day or night. She's always been that way. But she is also tireless in the way she pursues things that are important to her, or the way she meets her obligations. Her perseverance and propensity to delayed gratification would do many a great good if they would simply learn to live like her. If Corie takes on an obligation, you can rest assured it will get done.

These are things that I need to say about my wife. Because she's so quiet many people don't know her like those closest to her. I was blessed the day she said "I will". I don't believe everyone gets who they deserve in marriage.

--Ben

Old Ideas

This morning I got the chance to pray with a bunch of pastors. I really enjoyed it, and there was one thing that stood out to me. One of the pastors that was leading said, "Sometimes God doesn't give you new ideas. Sometimes he gives you a fresh perspective on old ideas that he is starting to give His blessing to."

He was right. As we prayed God stirred up an idea that I had a couple years ago, only he gave me even more direction for it.

What idea does God want to bring back in your mind. You may already have the key to the lock that seems to be holding you back.

--Ben

Hallowed Ground

Yesterday I spent most of the day in Annapolis on a prayer retreat. I found my way to the WWII memorial on the Severn River. It is absolutely beautiful, and the architect did a fantastic job of making the site a hallowed place of sober reflection for the sacrifice of Maryland in the war effort. It also happens to make a fantastic altar of prayer. In the last couple months I have really found a close relationship with God and enjoyed a special personal connection with Him. My personal devotional life has been stronger and more vibrant than any time I can remember. So yesterday's prayer meeting was special. Special because of what I heard and learned, because of what He showed me.

I want to encourage you that if you're in a place where you need to hear from God, then find some time to be quiet and alone with Him. Obviously I have an advantage because of the nature of my job to have time to pray, but even in your home in the morning or evening find some time to get away and pray. God is speaking.

--Ben

About the photos:
Top Right -- Picture of part of the rt. 450 fishing pier with Rt. 50 bridge in the background
Middle --Picture from the top of the monument overlooking the river and US Naval Academy, and State Capital.
Bottom -- top of the monument, a great turret with beautiful views of Annapolis
Sorry the pictures are so poor quality, I took them with my 1st gen iphone.

What You Feed Grows, What You Starve Dies

Today I caught this rolling around in my head, "What you feed grows, and what you starve dies." This truism is reflected in so many parts of life. And the question I have been wrestling with is this: am I feeding the right things?

Paul wrote about it in Philippians 4:7, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things."

Whatever is true -- be careful to find the truth, and not settle for lies.
Whatever is noble -- those things that are higher than the common.
Whatever is right -- don't confuse this with what is popular, there is a difference.
Whatever is pure -- good things that are contaminated, are still contaminated.
Whatever is lovely -- things worthy of love, worth sacrificing, esteeming, and providing for.
Whatever is admirable -- because it shows us the ideal, and compels us toward it.

This are the things we should feed.

What you feed grows, and what you starve dies.

--Ben

The Beatitudes From The Message Version

Matthew 5

1 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down2 and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:3 “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.4 “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.5 “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.6 “You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.7 “You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘carefull,’ you find yourselves cared for.8 “You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.9 “You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.11 “Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable.

12 You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

Hear The Voice Of God

Something strange happens to me when I lay down and rest -- my ears tune into the smallest sounds. Has this ever happened to you? When I was a boy I used to listen to the radio when I went to sleep. In fact I remember the night that President George H. W. Bush declared war in Operation Desert Storm. I listened to it. But I discovered that when I got in bed I would turn the radio down as quiet as I could, but still be able to hear it. The longer I laid there the louder it got, and I would turn it down and turn it down. The next morning I wouldn't even hear it when I got out of bed.

The same thing happens now. When my family heads to bed and I'm watching Monday Night Football, I turn the volume down so that it won't disturb them. Usually I turn it down to a 7 or 8, and can hear it perfectly well. In the morning when the girls get up and turn on the TV to watch cartoons they can't hear it till the get it up to a 14 or 15.

This principle holds true with God. If we want to hear him we have to settle down, rest, and pull away from other voices. The noise of our life that is constantly swirling around us. The quieter we can become and longer we can rest the more his voice becomes discernable. Are you hearing from God? Maybe it's time to cut the clatter.

--Ben

SRC Tailgater

Football has always had an interesting side role in our church. Many SRCers are fans of teams in the NFL, and one of my favorite things about the church is our fantasy football league. We wanted to coordinate an event that coupled our love for God with our love for football and the fall, and the SRC tailgater was formed. Here's what we did:

• We picked the first week of October, because it put us in the fall without being too cold.
  
• We launched a new series called Teaming Up on parenting.
• We told everyone to bring lawn chairs and food for themselves and some to share if they wanted. A grill was provided.
• We parked our cars, setup in the parking lot and hung out.
• We stripped down all the responsibilities that people usually carry on Sunday mornings: No sound system, no band, no hospitality table, no kids church. Everyone could just come and relax.
  
• We played a battle of the sexes crowd game, sang a couple songs, and I shared a short message on parent's choices of Attitude, Affirmation, Approach and Associates. Mainly though it was people catching up and getting to know each other.
  

It was a great day. I measured that by the number of people that said they hoped we do it again soon. I got text messages from people telling me what they loved about it. And probably one person summed up the vibe pretty well. She said, "You know sometimes I just get caught up in stuff, and it's nice to have days like this where we just eat together and remember why we loved these people in the first place."

I also gauged its success by the way people just hung around till 12:30. Some people came and said their goodbyes to me three different times because they would get caught up in another conversation. The SRC Tailgater was awesome, now if we could figure out how to do it every week of football season...

--Ben

Catching Up

This morning is typical of the first day back to the office after taking some time off: Catch Up. It's sorting through emails, and filing paperwork (mostly into the trash). My family and I went to Ocean City for a few days last week, and my kids had a great time. I'm learning at this season of my life vacation is less about me having a good time and more about them having a good time. My favorite part was playing air hockey on the boardwalk. I challenged Corie to a game, and next thing I know Sydney and Ellie joined in. They loved it, and it was fun to do something that was just us. Ellie cheered no matter which goal the puck went in, and she cheered with gusto.

Planning a Sunday for the weekend after a week away is pretty difficult, especially when everyone that normally plans them were away on the trip, too. But we put it together and had a great day. I'll explain more in an upcoming post called: SRC Tailgater.

The bottom line for me I guess is that I'm glad to be back, and am excited for the things we have coming up.

--Ben

What Do Any Of Us Really Have?

I met a man who said, "I have nothing left."

No job/career.

No money.

No home.

No wife.

No children that wanted to see him.

I met a man who said, "I have nothing left."

He was right.

--Ben

Holiness Is Dangerous

Yesterday I came across a verse that jumped out at me. I've been reading through Ezekiel, and was in the middle of a section of the book where God takes Ezekiel all around the temple to measure it. They take a measuring line and for chapters they write out the blueprints in longhand of the temple in Ezekiel's vision. It actually was pretty mind-numbing for me, but then they get to the kitchen. (A place that always piques my interest.)

Ezekiel 46:20

"He said, “This is the kitchen where the priests will cook the guilt offering and sin offering and bake the grain offering so that they won’t have to do it in the outside courtyard and endanger the unprepared people out there with The Holy.”"

The thought gripped me that the priests could endanger the people by exposing them to The Holy. Earlier in Ezekiel God is firing the priests because they have stopped teaching the people the difference between the ordinary and the sacred, the Holy.

In Christ's grace we who are unholy are sanctified, that is we are made holy; not that we could earn or deserve it. But I wonder if we see Holiness naively, and treat it haphazardly. Holiness is dangerous.

--Ben

Screen On The Green -- Elizabeths Landing -- What Happened

Friday night we had a great group of volunteers that came out to the Elizabeth's Landing community, and put on Screen On The Green, a fantastic outreach that we started over the summer. We have only done it three times, but already we are finding it a great outreach because it is meeting the needs of our community -- families looking for affordable activities to do together -- and because it isn't hard on our volunteers. It's very enjoyable and really gives a sense of fulfillment, because we've served the community in Jesus' name. We've established relationships that are now on a first name basis in some cases.

In addition to the movie we offer free children's games, and sell concessions (i.e. popcorn, candy, drinks, etc.). Originally we were looking to go to four or five communities, but shortly after our first one we realized the better option was to focus on two communities and repeat them. Friday was the first time we repeated, and it didn't take long to see that we were right to repeat, because many people that had been in July were back again. There was definitely a spirit of friendship in the residents as we stopped together and had conversations. I know many invitation cards to our current financial series were given out, and one guy I gave one to sincerely thanked me and shook my hand in a genuine way. Another person said in conversation, "I love when you guys do this, I wish you would come every week."

Funny isn't it, we do meet weekly (Sunday) and we wish they'd come every week. :-)

We're looking forward to getting back to this community in the Spring.

I heard one girl say to another, "And (name) is here, and (name) is here, and (name) is here..." Apparently all their friends from school had come out. We had 84 people there.

About 40 minutes into the movie we ran out of popcorn, so I ran across the street to the Supermarket and picked up more. As I threw 10 bags of popcorn kernels up on the conveyor the women in front of me looked puzzled, because that's a lot of popcorn. Then one woman said, "Oh are you putting on the outdoor movie tonight?" Cool! It turns out that her daughter was attending.

I opened the night by sharing that we follow Jesus' teaching and that he had shared the parable of the Good Samaritan. The bottom line is that our neighbors are beat down by frustrating commutes that rob them of time with their families. That beats them down with guilt, and finding affordable activity with their kids is so difficult they get beat down with stress. We wanted to be Samaritans, meeting their needs at our expense. It is a pleasure to serve them, and I'm thankful that our ministry is resonating with them.

--Ben

Thank you for the invitation. I am looking forward to taking the kids.

I know it may not seem like a big deal, but people are really thankful for an outreach like this. I'm gonna share why I believe this outreach is important to the lives of our community tomorrow night in our introduction. I can't wait.

Spiritual Coincidence? Last night I asked Sydney what she learned about at Daisies (a christian girls club), and she told me that she learned about the Samaritan who helped a man who had been beat up, robbed, and left on the side of the road. Can't wait to share about it tomorrow night.

Here's what some people are saying this morning about Screen On The Green:

"Thank you so much. May God bless you and your work."

"Thank you for the invitation. I am looking forward to taking the kids."

Arnold Events

Well, the Arnold Events sign went out today. It's exciting to watch the online report of families around the area that have been looking into the Screen On The Green events this Friday and next.

I'm really excited, I love doing these events. And this time I'm looking forward to sharing our motivation through the context of the story Jesus told about the Samaritan on the road to Jericho. In fact, we're going to give the community an opportunity to become Samaritans too. It's going to be a great addition to the work we've been doing at SRC.

--Ben

Lord, I'm Not Amazed By You

At church we sing a song that says, "Lord, I'm amazed by You, How You love me." And in the chorus that line is repeated several times. It's a beautiful song, and I love singing it as an expression of worship to God. But this morning I heard a version that probably tops mine on God's favorite playlist.

Ellie was sitting by herself on the living room carpet and singing sweetly, "Lord I'm not amazed by you. Lord I'm not amazed by you." Ah the innocence of young life. There used to be a show called, "Kids Say The Darndest Things". If you've ever seen it you know it's true. When I heard her singing that I had to laugh and think that this was the reason Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, for this is what the Kingdom of heaven is made up of."

By the way, when was the last time you were amazed by God? Or is your repeating theme, Lord I'm Not Amazed By You.

--Ben

Looking Ahead

Today is an exciting day because I started planning for next year. First step-- buy wall calendar for 2011. The wall calendar helps me put the whole year in perspective. I will write, re-write and repeat on my way to ironing out the plan. Though I have no crystal ball, I have a memory and an imagination. The key to vision is to utilize both in planning.

This year will mark a change though, for the first years of SRC the whole vision has rested on me, this year I'll be utilizing the ministry teams and leaders that we've been developing to build it out. But no leader should go into a meeting with a blank note pad. It is incumbent on the leader to offer direction even when sharing/delegating responsibilities with others.

--Ben

Friendship

Today I spent a little time with a friend, Noah. My friendship with him is unlike any other in my life. He is a professional friend, and yet a profoundly deep friend. My meetings with him (several a year) always center on what we are each learning from the Lord, and learning in leadership. We are of similar age, though I'm a little older, and similar experiences in many ways. I particularly like that in our friendship their are no "off limits" areas of our lives. We live very transparently with each other and trust one another to ask about any red flags we see.

Today he told me that these traits are why he likes me, and that he doesn't have the same experience in other friendships; nor do I. This is probably because almost no one takes the time or the risk of having this type of friendship. I wish we could all have friendships like this...

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17

--Ben

Essential Pastor Skill: Balloon Animals

From out of nowhere yesterday a bunch of balloons showed up in our Children's Ministry box, and somehow a couple trickled out among the kids. I saw some adults trying to blow them up, and so I joined in and began inflating them. I think I was probably abusing my body to do it, as my head felt like it would explode each time I blew one up. And, of course, once I did one, I had to do one for everyone. But then I got to tie them and twist them into fun shapes and animals, and the kids loved it. It reminded me how much kids love that, and made me want to add balloon animals to our Screen On The Green outreaches.

--Ben

Refreshed

Yesterday at church was the culmination of a month of rest. When I arrived at the campus I had such a feeling of gratitude. I am so thankful to pastor this church. I love our people and the ministry that we do together very much. When I got out of my car I was thinking, "I can't believe that I get paid to do this." It was just an overwhelming sense of joy.

I helped with setup and headed into Rm 101 for prayer with Pastor Ariel. We both commented how relaxed we were and how God had been renewing us. From there the morning trucked on like it usually does. When we got into the service I just sensed the Spirit of God there. Especially when I felt led to gather around one of our people that is going through a very difficult time. As we worshipped a bunch of people gathered around her and laid hands on her and prayed. Though she is going through a very difficult time and can't see the light, she can at least lean on those who by faith see the light coming for her. The act of prayer and worship just took us to a higher place in Christ, and His Spirit moved among us.

It was small group Sunday so I got to have our Group Director, Drew Harrah come and share the platform with me before we had a testimony from our Spring Small Groups and then I spoke for a few minutes. It was a great day of being together in the presence of God and worshiping Him.

I walked away feeling so refreshed in the Lord.

--Ben

Life Commitments

In my Life Commitments group this morning I met with three men that are trying to hear from God and live the Christian Commitments. I'm proud of these men, and believe that this group is forming the pillars of this church.

This morning one of the questions was, "In what way can you be involved in world evangelsim?" We kicked around some ideas, and then I gave them a practical way to be involved; a missions trip to Ambato, Ecuador. In January I'm inviting men to go with me on this trip to build a building for a church down there. I've offered invitations to 5 of my Life Commitments guys, and I'm praying that some of them will go with me.

Commitments cost, but the reward is so worth it.

--Ben

Volunteering

For several seasons I have volunteered as a Soccer coach for my daughter's team. It has been a lot of fun for the most part, and I enjoy working with the kids and parents. This season I'm taking on a new role as vice president of our division. This has meant a lot more work in setting up rosters, finding coaches, coaching coaches, and all the administrative stuff that goes on in my level of the league.

But volunteering has given me a great privilege. Saturday morning at the meeting I was asked if I would do a "sermon" at the opening ceremony. I know he meant prayer, but still in a world that is increasingly secular I'm going to get to invoke God's blessing on our season and the families of children involved in our league. I am humbled and can't wait.

It is a bit of a testimony of something Pastor Ariel preached at the beginning of the year. She called it "serve to save". The bottom line is that we should serve others with the love of Christ so that doors of faith might open up. I have intentionally found some people that I'm serving, and I'm thankful that my faith is being recognized. I pray that in the same way the Samaritan helped a person in need, that I'll be doing the same.

--Ben

Joy of Earning

My daughter is 5 years old now, and a few weeks ago she got to participate in a survey and earn $50.00. She was so excited. It was the first time that she got to go to a "meeting" (which she hears her daddy talk about all the time) and earn money.

Part of our responsibility as parents is to help her learn the joy of earning. There are consequential joys that come from this God ordained activity, and in preparation for September's series called Treasures, I've been giving some thought to them this morning.

The fruit of the vine of earning are listed as follows:

1. The joy of saving.
2. The joy of giving.
3. The joy of spending.

In law there is a term called, "Fruit from the poisonous tree." It means that even if some evidence looks good and helpful, if it was mishandled or has no clear line of authenticity it can't be admitted into the juris process.

Saving, giving, and spending are similar in that if they don't come from the tree of earning they are poisoned fruits. Saving is only hoarding if you are saving the handouts of others. Giving is only self-serving if you're giving someone else's earnings away. It allows you to be recorded and recognized for having given, but it didn't cost you anything. Finally Spending brings joy only when you're spending what you've earned. Spending someone else's money or on a credit card that you can't pay off may bring happiness in the moment, but it does not bring joy. Spending can only be enjoyed when we are spending what we've earned.

These are things I'm trying to teach a five year old, seems like pretty good lessons for adults as well. If you need help managing your money, I recommend being at SRC September 12-26.

--Ben

New, Old Technology

At Severn River Church we offer a class called Discover The River for new attenders interested in joining our team's roster and getting into the game. We hold the class at my house and serve lunch while we talk through SRC's history, beliefs, mission, vision, values and governance. Sounds like a blast, right? No, probably not, but the best part is that we get to know each other and get on the same page to start moving forward together. It gives people a chance to see what their pastor is like away from the pulpit, and ask questions that maybe have been unanswered.

We've done this class for years, and way back in the beginning I wrote the material, printed it, punched it and put in in half-size three ring binders. I don't even remember where I got those binders from. But this week I needed to start preparing some for the upcoming DTR in September. We've run out of the binders so I went to get some at Office Depot, after all it is back to school week and binders are on sale, right? Wrong. The half-size binders are $5.59/pc. Ridiculous. That's way too expensive. So I started exploring my options and found an alternative. It's a punch and plastic spines. It's really cool to assemble these things, doesn't take long at all and cut the cost dramatically. I know that this has been around for decades and is certainly not the "latest technology", but it was the first time I used it and I'm thrilled with the results.

Now I can't wait to finish the Life Commitments curriculum and get it published for the next group(s) in 2011.

--Ben

Time Keeps Ticking Away

In many sports there is a critical coaching skill called clock management. What it means is that in addition to the skill of your players, the coach also has to make calls that expands the time benefit for his/her team and a time liability for the opposing one. For instance, if you're team can score at will needing only a small amount of time, but your defense can't stop the other team from scoring, then you might be better off dragging your feet for a while before you score until there is not enough time for the other team to score.

Well, as a pastor/leader/coach this is a skill that I am constantly trying to develop, and here's why:

1. We are engaged in a struggle that is constant. Everything in our world is tending toward chaos and dissolution. Physicists call this the law of entropy or the second law of thermodynamics. It means that there is constantly diminished potential. There is no day where things stand still. There is no time when time is not a constant issue needing our attention and management. Our objective doesn't take a break, and our path to achievement can not rest either. We are either progressing toward our goal, or we are losing ground and moving away from attaining it. There is not middle ground.
   
2. We are engaged in a struggle that is time sensitive. I'm involved in a spiritual quest, and because I have biblical guidance I know that the last days began on the day of Pentecost in Acts 2. Therefore time is counting down until the last day. And should that day come after my death, then I'm working down to a date certain when I will be laid to rest. It reminds me of the poem by Praying Heart, "We've only one life, it soon will be past, only what's done for Christ will last."
   
3. We are engaged in a struggle for which we are responsible. One day we will give an account for our time. We will testify, and the books with the records of our life will testify for us. We will give an account of our time on earth. Did we redeem the time? Did we make the best use of our time for eternal merit?

Okay, so all that to say that yesterday I picked up my 2011 calendar. I have had seasons of my life where I was very well managed in my time, and seasons where I've been much more scattered and haphazard. I have found that managing time through technology (Outlook, iPhone, etc.) does not work for me. I have friends who have mastered that system, but for me a pencil and a paper calendar helps organize my brain. I also write out lists of tasks to accomplish and cross them off. And I write in my calendar after the fact to keep a record of my time. I have them from years past. I will probably never use them again, but when I stand before God to give account of my time I want to make sure my books are in tune with the books he's looking at. ;-)

Oh dear, look what time it is.
--Ben

Saturday Setup

All we had to do was mention that we were doing a pirate themed GITGO for the ideas to start flying and one person more than any other led the way to add creative elements to our service -- Ben Rainey, Sr.

My dad has been preparing for this GITGO for years before even knowing about it. He loves the Pirate films and was quick to make a list of props and ideas. Not only was he the idea man, but he took on the lion's share of actually building set pieces and put a lot of work into it. This week my mother was away on a trip, and I think it probably freed up some more time that he put into preparing. And he made it look great.

In the original list of ideas that my dad produced he mentioned a canon, but quickly brushed that idea aside. However, I knew we could have it, because I knew my brother-in-law, Andy, had been in preparation for just such an opportunity. When I told Andy I wanted an air canon to shoot t-shirts he already had the compression chamber built. He only needed to know what size projectiles, and how far I wanted them shot. He did a great job, we shot three t-shirts at about 30lbs of pressure and they were all great shots. The kids loved trying to catch them.

Of course all this required a lot of setup time, and practice with the cannon. I'm very thankful for the hours put in by both men with me to make it happen.

--Ben