My Other Spouse

Ever notice that when you travel for pleasure and really relax, you're like another person. Ever travel with your spouse, and experience the same for them?

This week we got away overnight to Hagerstown, MD. For those who keep track of that sort of thing, yes, I was in Hagerstown in the morning, and did drive right back out there in the evening. It was a great time.

It's the first time we've gone just us two on a Thursday night trip, but what a difference. Because my day off is Friday we were able to leave right after work on Thursday and disconnect. Nothing on our minds, just utter disconnection. It was awesome. I've never disconnected that fast on a trip, but it worked, and so we'll be doing it again in a couple months hopefully.

This year I'm implementing the advice of a church planting mentor, Rob Seagears.

Take a day off every seven days, a weekend off every seven weeks, and a vacation every seven months.

It has been pretty good so far this year, but I haven't been perfect at it. Trips like this make me want to stick to the schedule. We were so relaxed that we ended up watching a movie on TV before we went to sleep. I rolled over at one point and looked at the clock, and saw that it was 1:50 a.m. You know that the trip is good when my wife is still awake at 2:00.

Great Trip.

--Ben

Lease Agreement

Got the Lease Agreement today for the office space. Working on it, and the squaring away the insurance side. Can't wait to seal this deal.


I'm looking forward to having and Open Office evening. A chance for everyone to come by and see the new place. It should be fun. Stay tuned.

--Ben

Busy Season

Right now is a busy season for my evenings. Just about every Tuesday and Wednesday night for the last couple, and the next couple weeks I am meeting with couples that are getting married. Pre-marital counseling is a requirement that I have of couples because most couples plan a wedding, but they should be planning a marriage. I conduct four sessions with the couples, in which we cover the biggest challenges of marriage: Communication, Finances, and Sex. It is very enjoyable to meet with these couples, but evenings with my family are precious. I have to schedule the counseling in such a way as to keep my time with my family a priority.

Corie and I agreed when we began the journey of planting the church that I wouldn't spend more that three evenings a week working for the church. One some occasions four, but rarely. Most weeks I am out only two.

Tomorrow night I get to slip away with my wife and just enjoy being together on my day off Friday. We're leaving the girls with their grandparents and we're heading off to chase the sun tomorrow night.

What would it profit a pastor to counsel marriages, and lose his own? What would I give in exchange for my family?

--Ben

Office Update

I went and met with Eva, the property manager, today and dropped off the credit application. She'll be getting me the lease agreement later today and we'll get things moving forward to move in on the first of the month. Looking forward to it.

--Ben

Feedback

I'd love to get some feedback on the move. Especially if you can identify areas that we can improve and solutions to those issues. Feel free to post comments here, or email me: ben(at)severnriverchurch.com

thanks,

Ben

Beautiful Morning

I love days like this. I woke up to the pitter patter of rain, and it was so relaxing to roll over and go back to sleep. When I got up at 6:20, I headed out onto my back porch and sat in my recliner read the scripture and just listened to the rain on the metal roof. It is a relaxing way to start the day after a hectic weekend.

Should be a good week. I'm going to finalize the Ritchie Hwy office lease, see Tommy outside of prison, get coaching in Hagerstown, take my wife away for a night (just the two of us), and Ariel's speaking on Sunday so I have a little break that way.

Can't wait,
--Ben

What I've been doing

Yesterday I got to go hang out at Ft. Smallwood Park with my girls. Corie worked, so I spent the day with them. In addition, my sister Sarah and her daughter come out with us. And for the last hour my mother and grandmother also met us there.

It was very nice and relaxing.

I enjoyed a great dinner compliments of my inlaws. Tacos and enchiladas were fantastic.

After dinner I heard my father-in-law say that they needed a third person on the roof to help finish a job today in the morning. So I volunteered. I was on the road this AM at 5:30 to Woodlawn. I was faster than they thought, and we finished by 10:30. Then I took a nap and am now getting ready to perform a vow renewal ceremony. Then it'll be set-up in the new building on campus and probably come home to call it a night.

That's what's up.

--Ben

Some Great Meetings

Today I had two great meetings. The first was with Alex Humphries missionary to Japan. We spent a little while together filling him in on a church that did not exist when he went to Japan, and now does. Then he filled me in on ministry that he's been doing in Japan. Super nice guy, and committed missionary.

That meeting was followed by a meeting with Noah Kaye. Noah's been a professional friendship that developed into a very personal friendship. We meet every couple months and sharpen each other. It's not uncommon for us to be experiencing similar stretches of the ministry journey. Typically we leave the meeting mutually encouraged and challenged by what the other person offered. Great to see him. He's heading out on Sabbatical soon for the better part of the summer. I wish him well.

--Ben

Book Review: Life Together

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote a collection of thoughts that has been titled Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community. It is interesting because the writings come out of his time imprisoned by the Nazi's. Much of his imprisonment was spent in solitary confinement. Seems like an interesting place to consider how we as Christians should live in community together. For the review this time I would like to pull excerpts from the book that stood out to me. A tougher read because of the writing style, but very good stuff.

• When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.
• "The curse of a godless man can sound more pleasant in God's ears than the Hallelujah of the pious." --Martin Luther
• "Sin boldly but believe and rejoice in Christ more boldly still." --Martin Luther
• So the Christian, too, belongs not in the seclusion of a cloistered life but in the thick of foes.
• A pastor should not complain about his congregation, certainly never to other people, but also not to God. A congregation has not been entrusted to him in order that he should become its accuser before God and men.
• Human love is directed to the other person for his own sake, spiritual love loves him for Christ's sake.
• Without the burden and labor of the day, prayer is not prayer, and without prayer work is not work.
• A day at a time is long enough to sustain one's faith; the next day will have its own cares.
• The ancients had a persistent sense of man's helplessness while sleeping, of the kinship of sleep with death, of the devil's cunning in making a man fall when he is defenseless...Most remarkable and profound is the ancient church's prayer that when our eyes are closed in sleep God may nevertheless keep our hearts awake.
• Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. Let him who is not in community beware of being alone.
• Seek God, not happiness -- this is the fundamental rule of all meditation.
• He who is alone with his sin is utterly alone.
• Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is we are sinners!
• The mask you wear before men will do you no good before Him.

Elijah's Rest

The summer is just about here. This weekend kicks off the unofficial start to the time most of us seek vacation and rest. I was asked to submit another article for The Voice on how to stay connected with God during times of rest. The truth is I don't think we can connect with God without rest...but that would have been a way longer article.

“I’ve had enough, Lord.” These are the words of an exhausted and drained man tired from his work. He needed a break, and God led Elijah to a cave and gave him just what he needed; rest. 1 Kings 19 tells us the story of Elijah’s rest. He had just come from a spiritual showdown with false prophets and put on a demonstration of God’s miraculous power, but now he’s on the run for his life. God led him to a cave to lie down and sleep, get up to eat, and lie back down to sleep again. God’s provision for Elijah was rest.

What can we learn from Elijah’s rest that will help us connect with God while we rest this summer? Let’s be honest, going “down the ocean” doesn’t equal rest. Rest is a discipline. First, Elijah stands in the presence of God. This summer while getting away, find a place in the presence of God. Secondly, reflect on the truly important events of your life and peel away all the non-important, temporary things. Elijah had to look past the wind, earthquake, and fire to get to what was important. Finally, listen for the voice of God. Elijah found it in a “gentle whisper”. What is God whispering to you?

--Ben

Jennifer Road

Yesterday I went and visited Tommy. He's in good spirit's and counting down the last week of his incarceration. He'll be released on the 27th.

Our conversation was really good. At first it was a little strained. I'll be honest, it is not easy to start a conversation in prison, because the usual lines don't make sense (i.e. What's going on? What have you been up to? etc.). But once we turned toward the scripture, I just shared with him from Habakkuk 3. He had some very encouraging things to say related to how things are working for him and his faith. I told him how excited I am to get him out of there and down to the river to baptize him. That's going to be a great celebration.

Thanks for your continued prayer for Tommy.

--Ben

Lost Task List * Updated *

So thankful I found it. Thanks for the prayers.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I lost my task list last night. I can't find it this morning so I don't have anything to do now. :)

I'll do my best to remember and I have a previous version to pull most of it from. This I suppose is the cost of going back to paper and pencil for my time management, but I think I'll manage just fine. If I'm supposed to be doing something for you, please remind me.

--Ben

Growth Group Enrollment

It's that time of year again. This is our transition time between semesters that we call enrollment for the next semester. We have four Growth Groups for the summer semester, and the details are available as well as sign up sheets online. Simply CLICK HERE and you'll be whisked away to the information you need.

--Ben

Adjunct Pastor

At SRC we've recently added an Adjunct Pastor to the team. My sister, Ariel Rainey, is an ordained minister and is currently looking for full-time employment. In the mean time she is worshiping at SRC, and we didn't want to let her gifts go to waste and so we've added her as a 1/4 time pastor. She is overseeing our outreach and evangelism ministry. In addition she'll occasionally fill the pulpit and offer another voice to host on Sunday mornings.

I'm so thankful to have her on the team. As an adjunct position we understand that it can come to an end at any point. But the value that she brings is already a huge relief for me.

I just had a meeting with her. She's carrying the ball on our Screen on the Green outreaches this summer and the 4th of July festival in Severna Park. She has also been tasked with putting a system in place to reproduce our outreach efforts among volunteers. A step by step guide to do what she's doing.

Should be good.

--Ben

Calling All Craig's Listers

I need a volunteer who will Craig's list some stuff for the church. If you are interested in helping the church liquidate stuff into cash, please let me know...Ben (at) severnriverchurch.com

--Ben

Office Space

I have really been feeling that we need to make a move into an office. Our meetings are getting to be often enough that we need a monthly conference room, a regular place to meet for counseling, and an escape from working in my basement with the distractions that come from working at home.

I've been looking at spaces around the area, and saw a nice one today. We'll discuss it at the upcoming board meeting this Thursday and make a decision about the direction we're headed.

--Ben

Habakkuk 3

Yesterday I got to wrap up my series on Habakkuk. Chapter 3 is a hymn of honor to God. Even though Habakkuk doesn't really like or look forward to God's method of redemption, he remembers who God is, accepts what he is doing, and trusts that it will all work out for the best.

So many people live in Chapter 1 always arguing with God. Some people make it to Chapter 2 where they take the focus off themselves and look to see what God is doing. But few people live in Habakkuk 3 embracing God's plan with true faith.

Yesterday I got to share out of Chapter 3 a very personal, one of the most personal passages in the Bible to me. When I was ordained I asked my presbyter to prophesy over me. He prophesied Habakkuk 3:17-19, "Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of the deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

At the time that passage didn't mean that much to me. But I made sure to mark it. Paul told Timothy to fan into "Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. " So I believe that at ordination moments there are words that God gives that give scope to one's ministry.

It wasn't until recently when looking at our church, facing my own short comings, and the lack of fruit for our labor that this passage came back to me. It showed me that nothing about our situation is a surprise to God. He knew that this season of ministry would be like fig trees that have no figs, empty cattle stalls, and that's ok. My joy is not found in ministry. My joy is found in God who sets me on the heights in his love and is setting my steps surely, like the sure-footed steps of the deer.

None of us is outside of his view. His plan may not always go the way we think, but He knows our end from our begining, and we're in good hands, when we're in God's hands.

-- Ben

Trailer Work Day

Today was the long awaited and much ballyhooed Trailer Work Day. Which meant Joe and I spent from 8:30 this morning till 4:30 this afternoon working on the trailer. We made a lot of progress, and got about 90% complete. Enough to get rolling. (That's a pun since everything is now on wheels.

Here are some pictures to note our progress:

Raining

I would just like to say that I wish it weren't rainy today. I have some things that need outdoor attention, and I wish I could enjoy a nice day off outside to work on them. Oh well. I'll give it my best.

Really looking forward to tomorrow. Last night I had dinner with Jessica and Joe. We planned our strategy for the trailer work day tomorrow. By the end of the day tomorrow we'll have everything on that gets loaded and unloaded each Sunday on wheels in carts. The whole trailer will be numbered to correspond with each piece that rolls out so loading and unloading will be clear. We'll make it so easy even a caveman will be able to do it.

--Ben

The Biggest Screen I've Ever Seen

Last night I watched the fantastic season finale of LOST. I was invited to my friend Drew's house, and we watched it together with my sister Ariel on his wall downstairs. He has a projector that is amazing. Let's put it this way. When not watching LOST we had the Orioles game on and the players were life size. I actually thought I was watching the pitch from second base.

Now staying up till 11:30 is going to be a unique kind of pain today, but it was worth it.

Thanks to Drew for the invite, next year I'll watch every episode at your house. :-)

--Ben

And On and On and On

My day started at my desk at 8:00 a.m. and has rolled right on through. I got to knock off at 3:30 and head over to visit my daughters at my mom's. It turns out they were sleeping, so I had to wait around till they woke up. Then I pushed them in the swing at my parent's house.

We headed from there over to dinner with my inlaws. Then it was off to soccer practice, and race home for a pre-marital counseling session. It's wedding time and right now I'm working with three couples.

Tonight is going to be a late one because it's the LOST season finale. I'm going to hang out with friends and watch the best show on TV.

Out,
--Ben

Jennifer Road

I wanted to update you on the progress of Tommy's incarceration. He wrote me a letter this week, and I appreciated getting it. He is in good spirits and most importantly is growing in his faith. Here are some things he shared:

Even being in a place like this I'm taking more and more things as a blessing. To start by having met someone like you that is willing to write and visit, which also goes for R and A, and the G family which I barely met. God loves me.

So when I feel bad or down I turn to the Bible. It's comforting to learn the word of God...I pray every night now, and keep you in my prayers.

Wow, that's awesome!!! Thanks to everyone that is praying and supporting Tommy.

--Ben

Habakkuk Playing With My Mind

Can't wait to preach this Sunday. I honestly haven't put pen to paper to really fashion my message, but the passage is so close to my heart that I can't wait to preach it.

Today my presbyter made a statement that I think goes right along with the life of Habakkuk. He related a time in his life where things were very difficult, and this is what he felt the Lord say, "There are some things in life that are not meant for your destruction, but for your reconstruction."

What a great summary of God's message to Habakkuk.

Can't wait for Sunday.

--Ben

Prayer With Pastors

I'm headed over to Dundalk today to meet with Pastor friends for prayer. It is always an enriching time to pray together.

--Ben

Seeds Planted

What I've learned about Church Planting over the last three years is that you sow seeds in new ground, and it takes a while to get a harvest. But I have always believed that the harvest is coming. This week we saw some of our first seeds sprout. I just thought is was so cool I wanted to chronicle the event.

Saturday I checked our analytics provider on severnriverchurch.com and saw that several first time guests had check in on the site. In fact, some of them had spent seven or eight minutes on the site. (That may not seem like a big deal, but by web standards it is a pretty thourough review.) So Sunday morning during my pre-service prayer I checked in on the analytics again and noted that there had been activity on the site that morning. I suddenly had a feeling that we would be having a guest for the morning.

I went into the hall where Diane was greeting, and said to her, "I'm expecting a guest this morning." In addition to the web hits I have been handing out invite cards. (Wallet's empty had to reload yesterday.) And within two minutes a new couple came in the doors. Praise the Lord! We had a great morning getting to know our new friends, and it was a blessing to minister to them.

Let me explain how the seeds of their coming were planted, watered, and given increase. Three years ago I asked Matt Boyer to come and help me plant the church. When Matt was here he discovered an employee at the local paper went to High School with him. She put us in contact with John Singleton a contributor to the paper. John wanted help with Video capture and edit for a short film his sons were making, and Matt had the expertise so they connected and built a friendship. John came out and covered our Compassion Journey which is where he and I connected. He wrote a gracious article at that time, but has contacted me a couple times since. Most recently was three weeks ago when he asked me to write a 200 word post for the paper. I wrote it, edited it, and edited it some more to get it down to the limit and submitted it. Last week this couple was reading the paper, saw the article, and came to check out the church.

That's quite a route to take to connect people to a great church, but God's plan sometimes takes longer than we expect, is harder than we plan on, and goes in a different direction that we bargained for. But God's plan is always going to bring a harvest.

--Ben

Happy Mother's Day

To the mothers in my life; Happy Mother's Day. I hope your day is filled with gladness.

--Ben

Youth Group

I had a chance last night to visit the youth ministry over at Church At The Mall last night. Their youth pastor was a classmate of mine at VFCC, and was called out of town this week for a funeral. He called and asked me to fill in, which I did.

I had a great time. I realized that I miss some things about youth ministry. I miss the teens. As a young church, we don't really have any teens that are still in high school. I also miss the youth workers. I remember the team that I worked with at PAG and how much I appreciate lay volunteers that do the work of ministry to youth. It is a special type of sacrifice they make each Friday night.

We played games and had snacks, worshiped and preached. It was a fun night.

--Ben

Random Quotes

These are notes and quotes I jotted down in my journal while at Council:

• Competence matters: Are you better this year than you were a year ago? 5 years ago?
• You will have to let some dreams die to let some dreams live.
• We need sometimes to be ordinary so someone else can succeed.
• [paraphrase] Moses spent 40 years becoming a nobody, 40 years realizing he was a nobody, and 40 years watching God use a nobody. --D.L. Moody
• The gospel is only good news if it arrives on time.
• Make decisions at the lowest possible level. That's leadership 101 -- Frank Potter
• [paraphrase] My life is one long answer to the call of God --Bonhoeffer
• If you are suffering it's because someone will follow and succeed. If you are succeeding it is because someone suffered before you. -Rev. Bennett

--Ben

65%

Originally an assertion by Alan Hirsch, I believe, we heard a statement at Council that should pierce our hearts. 65% of people in America will not be reached by the current church in America. The formats of church activity in the community that will reach those 65% don't exist at this time.

--Ben

May Day

Each year the school I attended growing up hosts a carnival day known as May Day. It includes a jog-a-thon, inflatables, and games galore. I spent several hours over there today with my kids. It was really great to run into old classmates that I haven't heard from in years. Turns out they've enrolled their children in the same school.

Tonight I'm headed to Annapolis to pinch hit (preach) for a youth pastor that was called out of town for a funeral. Looking forward to spending time with Teens.

--Ben

Thoughts From Reinhard Bonnke

In the Sunday evening message Reinhard Bonnke, a German born evangelist, shared a great message on the work of the Holy Spirit. Bonnke has led crusades in the Continent of Africa and has seen millions of people accept Christ.

Four quotes from his message:

1. "This is the best of all days because it is the day of salvation."
2. "God never intended you to preach as you are." (Acts 1:8)
3. "If you have a head, He has a flame to put on it." (Acts 2)
4. "Our struggles and weakness do not repel the Holy Spirit. They attract Him."

--Ben

Time To Start Posting

Ok, I have been on the run this week, and right now feel like I can start unpacking some of my experiences and thoughts. This blog serves as a personal journal so some of this is really just stuff I want to make sure and record for posterity.

This week I went to District Council, and had the benefit of sitting through a number of experiences, some of the best of which were services. We had three outstanding speakers this week. On Sunday night it was Reinhard Bonnke, Monday night was Pastor Larry Hickey, Tuesday night was James Bennett. Each of them shared a very personal message.

As I sat through the services I thought I might share a personal insight. This blog helps me frame my life and those I share my life with. So anyway, here's what it's like to be me at services like this. When I walk in, it's like a fat kid with a cupcake. I can't wait to have every piece. As a pastor I am constantly on the giving end of ministry, up front, leading, and providing ministry for others. But when I attend events like this I get to focus on just me and God. I thirst for these events like water. I have personal habits of spiritual discipline, but nothing beats the gathering of God's people to worship Him, and hear from His word. We have a rule in my house that our daughters only drink soda at birthday parties. They have a good diet every other day, but on those special occasions they can't wait for that tasty treat. That's how I feel about worshiping away from SRC. To be honest I look forward to the day when God allows our church to grow and staff to the point I can enjoy it right from the seat at SRC.

I like to be early, and I prefer sitting near the back and to the end of an aisle. The music starts, and I begin to sing. It's not like the singing that I do each week at church where my voice serves to lead others. I sing loud, soft, melody, and sometimes harmony. And round about the first song I go through all of those. But into the second and third song my singing becomes much more labored because I start to choke up. I'm joining my voice with a choir of worshippers and the lyrics of these songs start registering in their meaning. I'm undone by the heart cry, "Savior, you can move the mountain," "When I walk through the wilderness, Blessed be your name," and each song becomes a prayer to God sung from my lips. And tears come to my eyes. My once loud voice is reduced to only partial articulation. Tears run down my cheeks and my neck.

Several years ago I offered my tears to the Lord as worship. When I'm moved to tears in His presence I don't wipe them away I let them roll down. It is an agravating feeling, but for each bit that tear rolls down I focus on God's mercy and goodness. Besides I look forward to when He will wipe away every tear.

When the offering plate is passed I give whatever I can; sometimes out of need.

I listen to the preaching of the word, and am moved by God's plan of redemption that is the constant theme throughout scripture. I want to be part of it. I get fired up inside and think about leaving in the middle of the service just to come back to serve this church and do the Lord's work.

That's pretty much what it is like to be me at these services. I am not trying to esteem it as anything more than it is; my way of encountering the Spirit of God at these events.

--Ben

Tired

I'm back safe from my trip out to District Council. This year the schedule was different. We started Sunday evening and rolled through Tuesday night. It is a whirlwind, but I liked the new schedule.

It just leaves me very tired. I have pages of notes of things I picked up. I'll start filling in posts going forward. Write to you soon,

--Ben

District Council

This week I'm out in Winchester, VA for District Council. It is the annual gathering of pastors from around the MD, VA, DC and WV area. It is a great time, and I've outlined before what the details of an event like this are. (Uses Ben's Box to search District Council for past explanations.)

I found out today that if you are a partyer and not really into business, then you should volunteer for the counters committee. It is nothing but a constant party back there.

I however, am much more business oriented. I feel like I missed out on the most important part of Council. Oh well, the mixed nuts were good.

--Ben

Looking forward to tomorrow. We kick off our Twiddle Series. It's gonna be a great study through Habakkuk. And Tomorrow begins the beginning of the end of me leading the songs. It's gonna be a great month.

--Ben

Visiting Tommy

I visited Tommy again today. I'm heading out of town this weekend so I wanted to get by again. I'm thankful to report that he's doing well. I caught up on how he's been and what changes he's been through during processing. He is now in a better situation than before he was processed. He prayed for God's care and is thankful God is caring for him. He also was hopeful as he had his days till free counted.

I shared a preview with him of my message for tomorrow. We read out of Habakkuk 1 and prayed together.

He's clear to get mail now so those of you that have volunteered to write will be getting directions by email today with instructions. He will probably respond, but it may take time for him to get his mail packet from the commissary.

Thanks again for your prayers for Tommy.

--Ben